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Kids today: what's the matter with them? According to the Navy, they are actually aliens. Danger Room found a Navy recruiting powerpoint presentation and apparently these nutty "millennials" have crazy ideas about not joining the Navy. Why? Because they are "coddled" and "narcissistic praise junkies," of course! Oh, and because of Iraq. Also did you know they have complicated text messaging codes? And if you want to convince them to sign their life away to Uncle Sam, you'll need to crack that code.


lol - Wonkette

Oh the kids with their arcane abbreviations and NME (translation: New Musical Express) approved British rock bands. Guys, if Mark Foley could figure it out, you can too.

But why do so many of these teens hate America? Oh, right, still Iraq. And their out-there Jetsons lifestyle!

The typical kid today "has always been online," and "has never known a world without digital phones." Because of that, he a worldwide social network; his "best friend may be Chinese," the report says.

My god, Chinese?? Ye gods, is nothing sacred in this godless post-9/11 Facebook world?

OMG! Navy Calls MySpace Kids "Alien Life Force" (And They Hate the War, Too) [Danger Room]

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