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Reporter Joe Bruno shows us the actual fire door, because local teevee news

Mark Harris, the Baptist preacher turned Republican politician who "won" the fraud-soaked election for the US Congress in North Carolina's Ninth District, was in such a hurry to get away from local reporters that he fled a county building last night through an emergency exit, triggering a fire alarm. The state elections board refused to certify the outcome of the November race after credible allegations emerged that a skeevy contractor working for the Harris campaign had manipulated absentee ballots to throw the election to Harris over Democrat Dan McCready.

Naturally enough, when Harris showed up at the Charlotte Mecklenburg Government Center to address the Mecklenburg County Republicans last night, political reporters were keen to ask him how he was doing in his efforts to be accepted as the true winner -- just in case the answer had changed from NOT WELL. Instead, when journalism reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.


As WSOC-TV reporter Joe Bruno found, Harris was not at all eager to deal with the press:

An unidentified man tried to block reporters from using the fire escape to follow Harris. When questioned if he worked for the city, the man allowed reporters to pursue the politician.

Video of the dude actually shows him saying "yeah" in response to the question, even though he then obligingly allowed the reporters to follow Harris. But before the reporters could catch up with Harris, he was out the fire door, setting off an alarm. You know, dude, there's a sign warning you'll trigger the alarm and everything.

Still, it made for amusing video as the reporters shouted questions at the fleeing preacher:

Bruno reports that instead of holding up to talk to reporters, Harris made a beeline across the street for the parking lot of the First Baptist Church of Charlotte, where he used to be pastor. Then he dove into a car that took off with alacrity, and also with a chickenshit politician inside.

Harris later tweeted a very believable explanation: He, uh, had to duck out an emergency exit and set off an alarm because he was in a great big hurry to watch some F'ball!

Sorry I missed you guys tonight. I had to get to the kickoff of the #NationalChampionship game. We'll have plenty to talk about in the days ahead.#GoTigers

Now there's a man who's ready to be named to Congress, because he is dedicated to watching sportsball and always telling the honest truth. If not Congress, maybe the White House Press Office.

North Carolina Democratic Party chair Wayne Goodman noted that, as a former state fire marshall, he has a pretty low opinion of someone who'd misuse an emergency exit. Even if it was a very serious football/avoiding reporters emergency:

Then again, considering that the "president" of the United States is considering declaring a "national emergency" so he can have a legally dubious excuse to shift military money to building WALL, it makes all kinds of sense that a fellow Republican might have a very expansive understanding of what constitutes the proper use of an "emergency" exit.

[WSOC-TV]

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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

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Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

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Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

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