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Nebraska State Senator Sues Eric Clapton

God said to Abraham, kill me a son... - WonketteIn order to make the point that there is no such thing as a "frivolous" lawsuit, Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers has filed the most fivolous lawsuit ever, suing God himself. Chambers "seeks a permanent injunction ordering God to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats." While his confused political point is pretty much impossible to understand, Chambers' suit itself is hilarious. Seriously, look at the details from the filing, it's like a Randy Newman song come to life:


The lawsuit admits God goes by all sorts of alias, names, titles and designations and it also recognizes the fact that the defendant is omnipresent.

Why can't more elected officials try to score political points by either disproving the existence of God or demonstrating that, should He exist, he's a huge prick?

The lawsuit accuses God "of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of Plaintiff who Plaintiff has the duty to represent." It says God has caused "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects and the like."

The suit also says God has caused "calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction."

Chambers also says God "has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that defendant will laugh" when calamity comes.

Chambers asks for the court to grant him a summary judgment. He said as an alternative, he wants the judge to set a date for a hearing as expeditiously as possible and enter a permanent injunction enjoining God from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats described in the lawsuit.





Ernie Chambers, the longest-serving Nebraska legislator ever, and also the first and only black member of the Nebraska legislature, will be forced out this year by a term limits law passed more or less specifically to get him to leave. Once that happens we sincerely hope he runs for President or something.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers Sues God [KETV]

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Main Branch, Boise Public Library!

Everyone makes mistakes. But to truly screw things up, you need to be a free-market economist with a libertarian bent, as this weekend's best online kerfuffle demonstrated. On Saturday morning, Long Island University professor and Forbes columnist Panos Mourdoukoutas took to the Twitter Machine to plug his latest piece at Forbes, with the provocative title, "Amazon Should Replace Local Libraries to Save Taxpayers Money." Not surprisingly, the internet was not pleased.

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Because it had been literal days since a journalist published an article about venturing into the hinterlands to meet the rubes and find out why they still love Donald Trump, the Washington Post served us up something special on Sunday! WaPo's Stephanie McCrummen went to Luverne, Alabama (population 2,700) -- more specifically to the First Baptist Church in Luverne, Alabama -- to find out how God's country faithful who hate the sin and love the sinner (Donald Trump) are holding up. Here is what she learned as she traveled through the pews of First Baptist and shook hands.

(Wonkette has changed all the names to protect the ignorant, even though WaPo used their real names LOLOL, WaPo is a dick.)

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