Netanyahu Rolls Over For Trump Like Pomeranian With Stiffy, Waits For Treat

Today has been stupid and horrifying for America's already diminished place in the world, even by Donald Trump's debased standards. Almost a week ago, we started hearing that Trump was telling his advisers (and probably his KGB handlers and his diaper changers and his Big Mac errand boys) that he thought Israel should ban Muslim congresswomen Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar from entering their great country, because he's racist and thinks they should go back to their countries, which would (factcheck) be "America." (Technically, the reason would be because they support the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions [BDS] movement, but we're not willing to believe Trump knows how to spell "BDS.") Indeed, Axios reported this weekend that Trump's helpful suggestion/Mafia Don-style missive had reached the Israeli government, which makes sense, considering how the Trump crime family (including and especially Jared Kushner) and the Netanyahus are partners in crime and bosom buddies and whatever other gross metaphor you can think of.

But Axios copied down a statement from White House Shuckabee Stand-in Stephanie Grisham, which said FAKE NEWS, and that Israel can do what it wants. And the Israeli ambassador, Ron Dermer, had been saying that the congresswomen would be let into Israel, despite the fact that Israel has a new anti-boycott law barring entry to people who support the BDS movement. And why would they make that exception? Oh, we dunno, maybe because they're sitting fucking members of Congress, and also Wonkette would suggest that grown-up countries like America and our strong ally BFF Israel might be able to get over their shit and allow visits by people with different viewpoints, especially when those people with different viewpoints are sitting fucking members of Congress. WHAT A CRAZY IDEA!

That has all now changed.

The Shuckabee Impersonator again reiterated this morning that Israel can do what it wants, and denied reports that Trump had his mouth affixed to Benjamin Netanyahu's blowhole and was flicking his tongue around telling him to bar Tlaib and Omar from Israel. AND THEN:

Yet again, he just ... tweeted it out. He always does this. Thank God the fucking moron doesn't have the attention span to really absorb our state secrets, because those would be on Twitter too.

Of course, as always, he's full of shit. Despite a few offhand comments Omar and Tlaib have made that have either been inartful or completely taken out of context, there is no evidence either woman "hates Israel" or "all Jewish people." (Perhaps we're just not used to having the perspectives of Muslim women in Congress.) On top of that, they are very popular, and their districts in Minnesota and Michigan love them, so go fuck yourself, Donald.

Soon after Trump's tweet -- very soon after -- Israel announced that yeah, it is going to deny entry to two sitting fucking members of the United States Congress, oh my God, because Donald Trump is throwing a sadbaby shitmouthed racist temper tantrum, and know what that fuckin' yahoo Israeli prime minister loves? Sadbaby shitmouthed racist temper tantrums from our Embarrassment-In-Chief. Apparently it had been in the works since yesterday:

Caught between the opposing views of President Trump and Democratic leaders, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu reversed himself on Thursday and decided to prohibit Reps. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) and Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich.) from visiting Israel during a trip scheduled to start Sunday.

The announcement was made by Israeli Deputy Foreign Minister Tzipi Hotovely, because in this new hellscape world we live in, our bestest friend Israel, which purports to be the only functioning democracy in the Middle East, now travel bans American Muslims who make Donald Trump mad.

Nancy Pelosi has responded, noting that actually Israel now looks weak, as opposed to before Netanyahu rolled over like a Pomeranian with a stiffy for Trump:

"Israel's denial of entry to Congresswomen Tlaib and Omar is a sign of weakness, and beneath the dignity of the great State of Israel. The President's statements about the Congresswomen are a sign of ignorance and disrespect, and beneath the dignity of the Office of the President."

So has Rep. Omar:

Meanwhile, Jewish organizations in America are just thrilled, as are powerful House Democrats who are longtime Israel supporters, just kidding, they are as fucking horrified as everybody else is:

"Any sitting member of Congress should be welcome to visit Israel as official representatives of Israel's closest ally and most critical source of international support," said the Israel Policy Forum, a New York-based Jewish organization. "We strongly urge Prime Minister Netanyahu to reconsider." [...]

Senior Democrats in Congress, many of them longtime supporters of Israel, joined the denunciations. Rep. Jerrold Nadler of New York called the move "utterly egregious," and Rep. Nita M. Lowey (N.Y.) said the Israeli government is "missing an opportunity for engagement in dialogue with those they disagree with."

Oh, and:

When you've lost AIPAC ... well, when you've lost AIPAC, it means you've probably made a really nakedly stupid political decision that's going to come back and bite you in the ass. We will not be surprised if Trump, we mean Netanyahu, reverses himself in the coming hours.

In the meantime, Grandpa Ain't Got No Job is still tweeting:

So whose idea was this? Who possibly thought this batshit stupid decision was a good idea? And who has the ear of both Trump and the Netanyahu government? Could it be ...

We have learned that in the Trump era, if there is a dumb decision made that has any whiff of Donald Trump stupidly thinking something will play well with Democrats or liberals or, in this case, American Jews, it tends to be Jared. When a brain wizard thought Democrats would cheer Trump firing James Comey to criminally obstruct the Russia investigation, because Democrats were still so mad at Comey for fucking Hillary Clinton over, that brain wizard was Jared. When another brain wizard thought Democrats would cheer Trump commuting criminal Rod Blagojevich's sentence ... just kidding, SAME BRAIN WIZARD.

We are just saying that if a Maggie Haberman report comes out about how Jared, voice of the Jews, thought it'd really get American Jewry on Trump's side if he leaned on Prime Minister Nutsack to ban those stinky Muslim ladies who need to go back to their countries, we will not be surprised.

Also, Wonkette will have won a bet. WITH OURSELVES.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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