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Netroots Terribly Disappointed That Barack Obama Is Not A Communist

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Dagnabbit we wereassured in no uncertain terms that Barack Obama was an unrepentant Marxist who would "spread the wealth around" and socialize medicine, plus other valuable American industries such as porn and sports teams. Everybody was going to win/get rich with virtually zero effort, except for the hard-working white Americans we would enslave for the Cause! Obama rode this wave of pro-Socialist sentiment to become President of our Second Great Depression. Only now have many proud netizens realized that our beloved Muslim Marxist was actually just some lousy centrist moderate type with a sober, pragmatic approach to governing and no intention of socializing anything, not even Major League Baseball.


From his capitulation on FISA to his hiring of a hawky warmongering sellout for Secretary of State, Barack Obama keeps pissing off legions of Daily Kos diarists. Now his deputy campaign manager Steve Hildebrand has bravely come forward and spoken directly to the angry netroots by writing a little essay on The Huffington Post, an online celebrity rag where Hollywood elites type about their feelings.

Mostly Hildebrand just boringly lists of all the terrible bullshit Barack Obama will have to deal with for the next four years, everything from our sad environment to Iraq to the imminent bankruptcy of 439% of our nation's wage earners. Then at the end he adds a tart little STFU to all you left-wing whiners out there:

This is not a time for the left wing of our Party to draw conclusions about the Cabinet and White House appointments that President-Elect Obama is making. Some believe the appointments generally aren't progressive enough. Having worked with former Senator Obama for the last two years, I can tell you, that isn't the way he thinks and it's not likely the way he will lead. The problems I mentioned above and the many I didn't, suggest that our president surround himself with the most qualified people to address these challenges. After all, he was elected to be the president of all the people - not just those on the left.

OH DANG SNAP ETC! We can all perhaps take comfort in the fact that the intention to "be the president of all the people" is a very Socialist desire indeed. The capitalist George Bush never presumed to be the president of more than a couple percent of the people.

A Message to Obama's Progressive Critics [Huffington Post]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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