Donate

Freedom fighter


[contextly_sidebar id="sTtcUXrozjAjJO73sRtGmcJqrR1e00kZ"]Oh god, we were under the impression the Oregon standoff story was over, and everybody was dead or in jail now, and we could go back to ignoring how there are loud morons out west who think the federal government can't own land, blah blah blah. But alas, no. There are still four dillweeds occupying the very important strategic birdwatching outpost known as the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, and as long as Ammon Bundy and his band of roving dickmouths are in jail, there is still TYRANNY BEING DID.

So now it's time for Michele Fiore, gun-toting, booby-having assembly lady from Nevada, to saddle up those funbags, call her old pal Cliven on the Snapchat and go free those political prisoners:

Nevada State Assemblywoman Michele Fiore told OPB Monday that she, along with other state lawmakers from western states, will be traveling to meet Bundy in Burns and in Portland.

Fiore said the final details of the trip are still being planned, but she expects to be in Portland on Thursday night to protest the jailing of Ammon and Ryan Bundy.

“There is a Nevadan [Ryan Bundy] sitting in jail, and as an office holder, I will be there to demand his release,” Fiore said. “If that Nevadan can’t leave Oregon, we will bring Nevada to him. Peaceful, of course.”

[contextly_sidebar id="GsOlou2SU3L1G1cSqzXOBYPgEdZZV6P0"]It'll be SO peaceful and SO Nevada. Michele will probably grab like 11 or 30 of the guns featured in her Michele Fiore Guns 'N' Tits Of The Month calendar, because we all know you can't have a peaceful protest without a bunch of guns. And if you disagree, you are a dirty stinkin' liberal who doesn't even understand that gun violence is caused by Prozac and lithium and stuff, NOT GUNS. Michele hasn't updated her Prozac prescription in years, so it's fine.

[contextly_sidebar id="aKKYY7LpttONmavVCgBI6fA0bXIaf8mM"]So we guess this is what happens when a moron who doesn't understand how our U.S. American system works decides to participate in it as an elected official. Perhaps she thinks she's going to the foreign country of "Oregon" to do some hard-hitting diplomatic negotiations to get her Nevadan countryman Ryan Bundy back. Pffffffft, you are saying, those Bundy dildo-nozzles are in federal custody, this isn't about international Nevada-Oregon foreign relations. Pffffffft, we are saying back, "federal custody" doesn't exist, because the federal government is totally fake, according to people like Michele Fiore and Cliven Bundy.

Will Michele and Cliven be successful in their quest to break the Bundy boys out of jail? Unclear. Maybe she should try to flush them out of jail with baking soda, the way she flushes cancer out of people's bodies all the time at her house. Wonkette just hopes she doesn't get way ahead of her wee brain and decide this is a cause worth dying for, OH GOD, MICHELE, DO NOT START ANOTHER STANDOFF AND GET YOURSELF KILLED, PLEASE. The last thing we ever want to do is write an RIP post about your knockers, because we love you, in a weird way.

BE SAFE, GIRL!

[OPB via Crooks & Liars]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc