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New Book Reveals FLOTUS Hates Rahm Emanuel, Just Wants to Party

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Hallelujah, our FLOTUS has survived yet another dreadful year in the White House. We don't really know how she does it, but then again, she looks like she has had a lot of endurance training. So, will 2012 be the dawn of a new era in Michelle Obama's FLOTUS career, or will we spend another unfortunate year tallying up our First Lady's vacation costs, and crying because we can't even afford the latest grilled cheese monstrosity at Denny's? Nobody knows, but what wedo have is a new book that is rumored to include many "juicy details" about our First Lady, details like "she hates Irish Catholics and Rahm Emanuel." Time to grab that 100-calorie snack pack and one of those reading machines!


The Internets are all excited today about this book, which apparently includes some sexxxy stories about the tension between our FLOTUS and Chicago's angriest mayor:

"Michelle and Rahm Emanuel had almost no bond; their relationship was distant and awkward from the beginning. She had been skeptical of him when he was selected, and now he returned the favor; he was uneasy about first ladies in general, several aides close to him said, based on clashes with Hillary Clinton in the 1990s that became so severe that she had tried to fire him from her husband's administration," writes Kantor. "Now Emanuel was chief of staff, a position that almost never included an easy relationship with the first lady. They were the president's two spouses, in a sense, one public and official and one private and informal."

So this is a book about polygamy, in the White House! But of course, there had to be this, too:

Kantor reports that then-White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs was often deployed to push back against the first lady, informing her that she couldn't take a private vacation on a state visit, spend large amounts on White House redecoration, or buy expensive clothes.

Robert Gibbs, you are no fun! We would like to see Michelle Obama replace those Oval Office "neutral hues" with something retro, perhaps some neon track lighting and full-length mirrors, like an aerobics class. [HuffPo]

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Bexar County -- Texas, of course -- Sheriff's Deputy Jose Nunez, 46, is facing a minimum of 25 years to life in prison if convicted of sexually abusing the child of an undocumented immigrant. Not only did he abuse the child, who he was reportedly related to, he also decided it would be a great idea to terrorize the mother by threatening to deport her if she told. Apparently too afraid to go to the police department, the mother went to the local fire station seeking help for her abused child.

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Associated Press via ABC- From Bexar County Sheriff's Office
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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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