New Kid Rock Song Is Actual Worst Piece Of Sh*t Ever Made, Click Here To Laugh At It

New Kid Rock Song Is Actual Worst Piece Of Sh*t Ever Made, Click Here To Laugh At It

Good morning, humble patriotic people of the Lord! Put down your morning Bible devotionals and pay attention, because it's time to listen to Kid Rock's new song. Yes, we know we've never made you listen to a Kid Rock song before. The thing is, Kid Rock has created the worst song ever made, and we need you to laugh at it with us.

Don't believe us?

Well, did you think you could make an entire chorus that just says "We The People Let's Go Brandon" over and over again, like somebody who doesn't speak English but heard those words were good pleasure buttons for goosing the prostates of idiots who think the 2020 election was stolen? You didn't think that was even musically possible.

Let the virtuoso show the way!

Did you think you could meekly and mildly ask listeners for "love and unity" and also to "suck on deez nuts"? Because that's creative, you see, jokes about "deez nuts." What's great about it is how awkwardly he crams it into the rhyming cadence of the song:

Fuck CNN

Fuck TMZ

And you social media trolls, y'all,

Can suck on deez ...

Deez deez deez nUtS!

That's how the song goes. Not sure why TMZ is part of his list, but we guess washed up celebrities nobody wants to fuck gotta try to get the paparazzi's attention somehow. Might as well just scream and beg them for attention.

One thing about this jaunty tune from the guy who did that "Cowboy" song and then somehow made a career out of releasing that same song over and over again, but a shittier version every time, is that it really scratches the itches of the snowflake grievances of the white male MAGA set: "Wear your mask. Take your pills. Now a whole generation's mentally ill."


"COVID's near, it's coming to town. We gotta act quick, shut our borders down."

Another? It would be unfair to write down another set of Kid Rock's lyrical lyrics. You have to let artists like Maestro Rock surprise you with their songs that begin with shitty drumbeats and some whinyass man bitching and moaning the words "WE THE PEOPLE, IN ALL WE DO, RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM FUCK YOU!" Very edgy!

And then he says, "Maaaaaan, fuck Fauci!" Get it? Because Dr. Fauci is not his real dad!

And then it's time for the chorus!

"Weeeeeeee the peopleeeeeeeee let's go Brandon! Weeeeeeee the peopleeeeeee let's go Brandon!" (It's clever because "Brandon" stands for a cuss word, isn't that clever? Trump supporters think it is very clever. They also worship a racist with bad skin who thinks you might be able to cure COVID by drinking bleach.)

Anyway, here's the song:

We The

This line makes sense: "You piece of shit, I don't see color, Black Lives Matter, no shit, motherfucker."

There's a bridge, too, that ends with the words "rock that bitch up and down the coast," which is a line from his one good or good-ish song. You will hear it if you make it far or if you're not laughing so hard you can't pay attention anymore.

We would bother to come up with a good ending for this blog post, but Kid Rock didn't fool with coming up with a good ending for his song, and instead just dubbed in a bunch of mouthbreathers chanting "Let's Go Brandon" at one of their cousin weddings or something.

Therefore we are off the hook.

Haha, we said "hook." Another thing Kid Rock's song doesn't have.

The end.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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