Who the heck is this lady and what the hell is she selling?


Gateway Pundit publisher Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, is having a great week, if by "great" you mean "completely covered in slime." Hoft got plenty of attention for his site's smear campaign claiming teenagers who survived the massacre in Parkland, Florida, were actors being fed lines by the Deep State. (Egad, some were in high school plays, so actual actors!) Less noticed was another attempt to attack a heretic who fails to love America's holy Second Amendment enough, Broward County Sheriff Scott Israel.

On Sunday, one day before the first article attacking the teenagers, Gateway Pundit dredged up an old lie about the sheriff that appears to have originated during Israel's 2012 campaign against Al Lamberti. In a string of three videos posted to YouTube in 2012, a not terribly convincing actress claims to have had an affair with Israel (in one, she says she was 17) and says he forced her to have an abortion. They're pretty transparently fake, contradict each other, and are incredibly cheesy. Israel's attorney requested they be taken down, but they're still out there on the web, reeking.

Here's the breathless lede by Gateway Pundit's Cassandra Fairbanks -- the former Bernie Sanders "supporter" (PROBABLY NOT REALLY A SUPPORTER) who switched to Trump, Mike Cernovich, and white nationalism -- and who's doomed to never be believed because she apparently now has moved on from Sputnik and RT to writing for Gateway Pundit:

In a YouTube video uploaded in 2012, an unidentified woman accused Broward County Sheriff Scott Israel of having an affair with her and forcing her to get an abortion when she was 17 years old.

The video was uncovered by Gabe Hoffman, producer of An Open Secret, a documentary on pedophilia in Hollywood.

Yup, Hoft's little conspiracy shop is passing on crap from PedoGate conspiracy theorists.

The videos are hilariously bad, framed as personal messages to Israel from the purported spurned lover. In the first, she seems incredibly flirty for a lass who's supposed to be warning Israel that their little secret might get out:

In another, she's trying to be outraged as she "reveals" the supposed statutory rape and forced abortion. And if she's 17, Yr Dok Zoom is a Wankel rotary engine:

The third seems to put the affair in the past, when she was only 17, but she's just now finding out he's married and has three children? What? Our performer can't seem to decide on whether she's supposed to be mad or flirty in this one.

But wait, why are we so quick to dismiss this young woman's cries for justice? We believed all those fakey-fake accusers of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, after all! Why do we hate women?

Oh, fine, this is where we show our homework: This whole sordid mess was revealed as a fraud by Politico reporter Marc Caputo, whose beat is "Shady Florida."

Among other things, Caputo notes, she's appeared in cheesy ads for dubious weight loss schemes, like "How to lose weight without exercise!"

Or maybe you should try "Paleo Burn!" Or not, because it's a scam -- maybe this one was posted by a detractor:

You get the idea -- example after example of computer cleanup thingies, Make Money Online outfits, and even "How to Get Rid of Tonsil Stones."

In one ad for "Mobile Monopoly," she explains how she made buttloads of money -- in front of the same wall where she talked about her tragic abortion.

And our own contributor Jennifer Mendelsohn points out that in another, she pretended to be a kindergarten teacher named Mary!

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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