New McCain Ad Stars The Elephant Man
Good god, what is that...thing? It's your hopelessly deformed John McCain, cursed by elephantiasis of the Truck Nutz, but he will bravely save America with his Original Maverickness.
Clearly, somebody at McCain headquarters is reading your Wonkette, because we can think of no other reason they would cast a tiny, arthritic old grumpus as some sort of comic book superhero called "The Original Maverick" who flies around Washington (read: Gotham) in his Straight Talk Airplane (Batmobile?) knockin' skulls (saving people from evil clowns).
Basically, everybody will vote for John McCain because they don't want to wait two years for the next Batman movie.