- When bald eagles close their eyes and daydream about America, images of John Boehner beating up The Deficit, or maybe teaching orphans how to chain-smoke, almost always appear in their little eagle noggins. This is because John Boehner was once a child with eleven siblings, and today he will be sworn in as Speaker of the House. Only in America! And as our country's awful newspapers gleefully point out, John Boehner refused to attend a LeAnn Rimes concert last evening, since taxpayers do not care for LeAnn Rimes. And instead of hosting a lavish celebration dinner at The Olive Garden -- which is what Nancy Pelosi did every weekend -- John Boehner is having a very private potluck reception. Good gravy, John Boehner will probably flood half of Washington with his incessant weeping. [NYT]
Meanwhile, the new GOP Congress wants to change "the rules" and prevent delegates from voting on amendments and procedures. This is bad news for Guam and Eleanor Holmes Norton. [The Caucus]
More dead birds, this time in Louisiana! Wonkette's very own Terror Roomba will probably file a full report on this terrorism, later. [Raw Story]
