Donate

New Twilight Mashup Features Michele Bachmann and Other Crazy Ladies

News


Have you pre-ordered your "wet section" box seats for the premiere of Fire from the Heartland: the Awakening of the Conservative Woman, Leni Riefenstahl's most recent and celebrated film? We assume this documentary is about angry moms who want more wars for their children to die in, but watch the trailer and you shall quickly realize these conservative ladies only want to gossip about how Barack Obama keeps shoving things into their mouth-holes. Ergo: This video is not suitable for work.

We understand this is a Vimeo video, which means by default it must be edgy and racy and elitist and blah blah blah, but what is with all the throat-pillaging? It begins almost immediately, at 0:25, with "people had been ramming their candidate down our throats," and then there is a nice follow-up at 1:04, "because of the policies he is pushing down our throats." There are probably hundreds of other fine examples, but after 1:10 we decided to press pause and uninstall our Internets. If you were brave and watched the entire three minutes you already know that this movie chronicles the endless heroism of Michele Bachmann and also two other random wingnut Congressladies, Cynthia Lummis of Wyoming and Jean Schmidt of Ohio:

According to the documentary producers the women “share their emotional stories of hardship and triumph in their fight for freedom. These women leaders are fanning the flames of liberty across the nation.”

Ha ha, Michele Bachmann is going to travel across America, fanning the flames of Liberty. But really they will just be "normal" flames and she will burn your house down. No point in complaining, you couldn't afford that house anyway. [Minnesota Independent]

$
Donate with CC

Presidential contender Kamala Harris held her first official campaign event in South Carolina, a key state in the upcoming Democratic primaries. Friday night, she spoke to a crowd of roughly 1,000 at a town hall at Royal Missionary Baptist Church in North Charleston. She reaffirmed her support for sensible gun safety laws, including universal background checks and closing the "Charleston loophole." She fielded questions from voters about how she'd address mass incarceration. Actual issues were discussed, but then she went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like eating in public.

Harris filled her tummy with Lowcountry goodness at Rodney Scott's BBQ. Later her press secretary, Ian Sams, tweeted a photo of the senator adding a hefty dollop of Texas Pete to her collard greens because she's civilized. Some chose to interpret this as "pandering." Because some are literally killing us with this.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Last week, we started getting excerpts from fired acting FBI director Andrew McCabe's new book The Threat: How The FBI Protects America In The Age Of Terror And Trump, and we are both happy and horrified to report that his book tour continues! One of the tidbits we learned in the Washington Post review was that we have YET ANOTHER example of a time Donald Trump has shown us that he trusts Vladimir Putin more than he trusts his own intelligence community, and is probably compromised by the Russian president. Here's how the Post put it:

During an Oval Office briefing in July 2017, Trump refused to believe U.S. intelligence reports that North Korea had test-fired an intercontinental ballistic missile — a test that Kim Jong Un had called a Fourth of July "gift" to "the arrogant Americans."

Trump dismissed the missile launch as a "hoax," McCabe writes. "He thought that North Korea did not have the capability to launch such missiles. He said he knew this because Vladimir Putin had told him so."

Guys, it is SO MUCH WORSE when McCabe tells the story on "60 Minutes," because his account captures the fucking babyshits temper tantrum nature of Trump's reaction to his intel people.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc