New WH Comms Director Anthony Scaramucci Stepping On Donald Trump's Dick
We'll sniff out these leaks and take action, mark my word. Or my territory
Brand new White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci went on the TV Sunday and capped off "Made In America" week by saying he had an anonymous source telling him that maybe Russia hadn't really hacked the 2016 presidential election, then moments later revealed that his source was the most American American in America, Donald J. Trump himself. So there you go: Don't trust anonymous sources, because they could be deranged pathological liars. Guess we won't have to worry that the departure of Sean Spicer will result in a surrealism deficit in the Trump administration.
Scaramucci pulled his little stunt on CNN's "State of the Union" Sunday after host Jake Tapper asked him whether the "president" intends to sign a new compromise bill imposing new sanctions on Russia for interfering in last year's election. Now why would Scaramucci want to go and answer a specific question like that? Besides, he said, he happens to have an anonymous source high in the government who told him you can't really trust the intelligence community's consistent assessment that Russia was behind the election hacks and disinformation campaigns. And Scaramucci protected that source's anonymity for at least 33 seconds:
Scaramucci: There’s a lot of disinformation out there [...] Somebody said to me yesterday -- I won’t tell you who -- that if the Russians actually hacked this situation and spilled out those emails, you would have never seen it, you would have never had any evidence of them, meaning that they're super-confident in their deception skills and hacking. My point is, all of the information isn't on the table yet. But here's what I know about the president --
Tapper: Well, wait, wait, wait -- Anthony -- Anthony --
Scaramucci: Let me finish, let me finish --
Tapper: Well, you're making a lot of assertions here. I don't know who this anonymous person is that said, if the Russians had actually done it, we wouldn't have been able to detect it, but it is the unanimous —
Scaramucci: How about it was -- how about it was the President, Jake? I talked to him yesterday. He called me from Air Force One. And he basically said to me, "Hey, you know, this is -- maybe they did it. Maybe they didn't do it."
HOW ABOUT IT WAS THE PRESIDENT JAKE! CASE CLOSED! So who are you going to believe, Jake Tapper? Your "unanimous" opinion from the U.S. intelligence agencies, or the semi-anonymous word of the president of the United States, who is actually the boss of them? Scaramucci listened impatiently to Tapper blah-blah-blahing about all these supposed intelligence experts who agreed that Russia alone was responsible for meddling in the election, but he wasn't about to let Tapper call him a yes-man for heaven's sake,
Tapper: President Trump is contradicting it, and you're siding with President Trump?
Scaramucci: Well, I didn't say that I was siding with President Trump; he hasn't made the decision yet to sign that bill one way or the other, so when he makes that decision, I will 100 percent side with him, because I’m his communications director and I’m his advocate on a show like this.
Don't you go calling Anthony Scaramucci a mindless lickspittle who automatically takes the president's side about the Russian hacking -- if it was Russia, which it might not have been, says the president, and Scaramucci agrees. But until Donald Trump decides what to do with the sanctions bill, Scaramucci won't know whether he'll be a suck-up toady in favor of signing it or against signing it, so don't you go saying he's siding with the president, which of course he will, because that's his job. But would you please stop jumping to conclusions like that, even when they're correct?
Immediately after the interview with Scaramucci, a still-incredulous Tapper talked to Senator Al Franken about the "anonymous source" thing. Franken shared Tapper's palpable disbelief. Feel the palpable disbelief:
Franken: I thought -- see, when he brought it up, I thought it was a disinterested intelligence expert. You asked a good question! [...]
That's -- What can you say? It’s just bizarre. I mean, it’s clear that -- and we’re seeing now that members of his campaign met with Russians even though they would testify before, oh, say, the Judiciary Committee, answering a question from oh, say, me. [laughs]
Tapper: You're talking about Jeff Sessions?
Franken: Yeah, saying that he had not met with Russians during the campaign; now it turns out, it sounds like that Kislyak said they met in April which is a meeting that we -- that he hasn’t said that he had, and in which they talked about subjects regarding the campaign and about Russia, and about sanctions.
Jeff Sessions got caught y'all.
Also, we would like to bring to your attention this additional evidence, from 2012, that Anthony Scaramucci is either A Idiot or a troll. We've included a few choice replies, too:
Say what you will about Anthony Scaramucci, at least he's... Actually, just say what you will about Anthony Scaramucci.
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