Is the new Politico/New York Times David Brooks Fantasia thing of the season going to be the UN-CLETUS SAFARI? Are journalists going to go to all the diners, drive-ins and dives in Pennsylvania looking for Trump voters, but find that they've all closed up and gone home?

The Times gives us what may be a preview of what we're going to see this year, as voters continue to abandon Donald Trump in droves, leading to his (hopefully) historic defeat in November: the person who voted for Trump in 2016 but now they don't like him anymore because here's why.

The paper explains that, according to the most recent NYT/Siena College poll, while these folks are only two percent of voters in the swingiest swing states they just polled, they are more than enough to fuck Trump right the fuck up. (That is a pollster phrase for "make him lose.") By the way, if you look in the poll just at people who voted for Trump in 2016, only 86 percent say they'll for sure vote for him in 2020. So yeah, he's fucked.

Let's look at who they found!

They found Judith Goines of Fayetteville, North Carolina, who thinks that "if [Trump] weren't such an appalling human being, he would make a great president." She liked the idea of a businessman president! But now she says she's "ashamed" she voted for him. She is a big Republican! But he needs "a little more couth," what with everything going on now in America. Judith Goines, welcome to the dark side, you will like it over here much better!

They found John Crilly of Reeders, Pennsylvania, who voted for Trump because he just really did not like that Hillary Clinton so-and-so. "What changed my mind? 120,000 deaths," said Crilly. "He refused to realize, 'Oh my god, there's a virus coming our way; shouldn't we do something, guys?'" Crilly isn't voting for Biden, either, because "old," to which we reply PFFFFFFFFT.

(By the way, the poll says a lot of Trump's defectors are abandoning him in large part because of his near-genocidal handling of the pandemic. Also, we think that, as much as we love Hillary Clinton, the biggest rude awakening the GOP is going to get in November is how many people voted for Trump just because he was not she. Thanks, 40-year GOP campaign of misogyny and lies against Hillary Clinton!)

John Chavez of Queen Creek, Arizona, didn't like Hillary either, but says Trump "lost him forever" when he wouldn't wear a mask at his Tulsa fail-rally. He's voting for Biden "mostly as a vote against Mr. Trump." This is why you shouldn't worry too much about articles like this one in USA Today about an alleged enthusiasm deficit for Biden. The story of the 2020 election — and the 2018 midterms — is "negative partisanship," and the real question is "Which candidate has the most people who haaaaaaate their ass?" We win.

Ariel Oakley from Grand Rapids, Michigan, doesn't like it when Trump downplays coronavirus or says it's "all fake," because of how she has "family who have unfortunately passed away from it."

It made her wonder how often he hadn't told the truth before, she said.

Thousands of times, Ariel Oakley of Grand Rapids, thousands of times.

She plans to vote for Mr. Biden.

Hooray, Ariel Oakley of Grand Rapids!

It sounds like Trump's white supremacy and "when the looting starts, the shooting starts" tweets have had their effect on Kelvin Pittman of Jacksonville, Florida, a Black man who voted for Trump in 2016. He liked Trump's "businessman" quality, but he's over it.

Mr. Pittman felt the president didn't take [the killing of George Floyd] seriously: "It was kind of the last straw. It was like, this dude is just in it for himself. I thought he was supposed to be for the people."

He is not that.

Cathleen Graham of Grand Rapids, Michigan — hey do you know Ariel Oakley of Grand Rapids, Michigan?? — is not a Black man, she is a white woman. But she's pretty grossed out by Trump's handling of race relations, too, and says she "understand[s] the movement and why it's going on a lot better than I did than when the gentleman was kneeling at the football game." She's even lost friends over it. That's right, Trump's racism is having the unintended effect of making some of his own former supporters more woke. And they're voting for Biden!

There's Robert Kaplan of Racine, Wisconsin, who hated Hillary and Trump in 2016, and upon Trump's inauguration, just started hating him more:

"He's an embarrassment," he said. "He's like a little kid with a temper tantrum when he doesn't get things to go his way. He's very punitive — if you disagree, he fires you. He disrespects very good people in Washington trying to do some good. And I think it's very disrespectful of the office to be tweeting all the time."

Robert Kaplan is correct about Trump, and we look forward to having him on our side in Wisconsin in November!

Finally, there's Craig Smith of Big Rapids, Michigan, who says, "I will never vote for another Republican in my life because of Donald Trump." Somebody get that guy a nice Joe Biden coffee mug, or another fine product from the Wonkette Flea Market Of Bargain Prices And Rare Finds, he's been turned.

The Times poll did find a tiny number of Hillary Clinton voters who said they're voting for Trump this time. Somebody should find them at the diner and ask them what's wrong.

We like this new kind of Cletus safari, it is nice. Do it again, New York Times!


[New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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