New York Villagers Still Love It When White Dudes Choke Native Americans

Friendly rough-housing.

[contextly_sidebar id="9iVWN64g04MYCLj7vsHBFfDagfLY7p0D"]Surprise, some people did a racism. We told you a story last summer about an idyllic little village in New York called Whitesboro, which is NOT named for all white people, but rather for Hugh White, who founded the town. Whitesboro was getting complaints from dumb liberals about its town seal, which features a white man (Hugh White) choking a Native American to death (but in a nice way).

Well! After all the whining or whatever, the villagers held a vote on Monday, and whaddya know, they still love their town seal so much, even if SOME SAY it is racist as f-u-k:

Residents of a central New York village want to keep their logo that has been called racist and offensive because it appears to show a white man choking a Native American.

In a non-binding vote Monday night, residents voted 157-55 to not change their current seal, according to Patrick J. O'Connor, mayor of the Village of Whitesboro.

Whitesboro's website says the emblem dates to the early 1900s and depicts a friendly wrestling match between village founder Hugh White and an Oneida Indian. It says White won the match and the lasting respect and goodwill of the Oneidas.

The mayor explained a million years ago (last year) that the seal is not racist at all. It's just that back in the olden timey days when the Native Americans hadn't all been genocided yet, the white people spent their Sunday Funday brunch times doing wrestling matches with the natives, and it was a jolly good time, because when in the history of America have the white people been rude to the Pocahontases? Never, is when. So they were just rough-housing, like the silly boys they were, and the founder of the town of Whitesboro winned the playfight, hooray!

And now that's the town seal because #NeverForget and #IndianTickleFights.

Besides, if you remember the legend from reading your Golden Books, this was the only moment in recorded history when a Native American person ever said, "UGH!" while doing silly battles with a member of the White People tribe:

“[Town founder Hugh White] accepted the challenge, took hold of the Indian and by a fortunate trip, succeeded almost instantly in throwing him. As he saw him falling, in order to prevent another challenge, he fell upon the Indian for an instant and it was some moments before he could rise,” the site reads. “When the Indian finally rose, he shrugged his shoulders and was said to have muttered ‘UGH, you good fellow too much.’ Hugh White became a hero in the eyes of the Oneida Indians.”

Awwwwwww, it's that old romantic bedtime story about how white people are always heroes and Squanto's like "OMG UGH WHATEVS."

Anyhoo, good job being dicks, Whitesboro.

[ Huffington Post ]