It was always going to come to this.

As you may remember, Fox News's parent company, Dumbfuckland Productions or whatever it is called, is starting a new channel about the weather, called Fox Weather. And there are rumors out there, we guess, that Fox Weather might actually take the weather seriously, and since climate change is so inextricably linked with extreme global weather patterns these days, that means they might acknowledge that climate change exists.

And so here is a panel of Newsmax idiots, like a group of kids whose parents all told them that actually all cool kids poop their pants, making fun of the new Fox Weather for not even pooping its pants.


Media Matters provides some transcript, Wonkette fills in the rest:

HEATHER CHILDERS (ANCHOR): Fox News facing more backlash today following a series of recent controversies.

BOB SELLERS (ANCHOR): National correspondent Michael Carter brings us the latest on Fox going woke.

Oh no, they are bullying Fox News in general for going woke, in general. This isn't just about the weather.

Indeed, the very serious correspondent Michael Carter started his package by making fun of Fox News's Chris Wallace for treating White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki with respect, while Tucker Carlson treats her like garbage. Which is it, Fox? Then he moved on to the weather thing:

MICHAEL CARTER (CORRESPONDENT): There's similar confusion over FNC's stance on climate change. Fox is rolling out another weather channel, which says it's taking the climate issue seriously. Hard-left NPR gleefully reported how there's a seeming disconnect between what the Fox hosts often report about man-made climate change versus how the Murdochs run the company.

Insert clip from NPR about how Fox News is actually a serious company behind the scenes, and how Fox News makes Donald Trump mad, and Fox News called Arizona for Biden ...

CARTER: All of this has conservatives wondering if Fox is making a permanent hard-left turn.

Yes, everybody wonders that, about Fox News.

So then it was time for the panel to pour a nice cup of horse paste and have a chit-chat about Fox News being a wokey wokester that believes in critical climate theory and that Jen Psaki is a human being worthy of respect. The "Bob" anchor noted that Psaki is very mean to serious conservative journalists, and the panelist named "Melanie Collette" said Psaki has an "attitude." They were very disturbed that Fox News's Chris Wallace is such a lib who loves Jen Psaki, because of how Psaki is definitely an "irritable little troll." This made everybody on Newsmax LAUGH SO MUCH when Melanie Collette said it.

After concluding that Fox News is just disgusting the way it treats Jen Psaki like a person, it was time to get back to Fox News taking Climate Change as its gay date to Drag Queen Story Hour:

CHILDERS: Ford, Fox News has also just launched a new Fox weather channel pushing a climate change agenda, apparently. This is what the Fox executive in charge of the new division told Variety — he says if you're asking about climate change, climate change is part of our lives. It's how we live, It's not going to be ignored. So your thoughts on their new weather initiative and climate change.

Oh boy, sin words.

FORD O'CONNELL (GUEST): Well, climate change is the ultimate Trojan horse for socialism. It's societal manipulation. The Earth may or may not be warming, but any case we should destroy America and her economy to basically calm college-educated whites who might be anxious. We need to be very, very careful about how we label and talk about climate change, because climate change is the greatest gift for the Democrats to remake America into a more socialist economy. And I hope a lot of people wake up to what's going on.

And that is where we'll leave this.

You know, unless you want to talk about Newsmax's Eric Bolling making fun of Fox News for having a vaccine mandate. We would have included that, except for how Bolling got fired from Fox over sexual harassment allegations, so there may be psychology wrapped up in Bolling's shit that we really don't have time for.

[Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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