Callista Gingrich and His Holiness Pope Babar IV

In keeping with his amazing talent for finding the best people for the job, Donald Trump is apparently considering Callista Gingrich for the post of Ambassador to the Vatican, because after all, she's Catholic, isn't she? Honestly, Pope Frank would probably be OK with it, seeing as how he's a pretty live-and-let-live guy, though he might gently remind Ms. Gingrich that there are more important things than shopping for diamonds.

So why Callista Gingrich? Why not Callista Gingrich? As we say, she's Catholic. Plus, she's got a welded-on hairdo, which can't help but remind the Pontiff of the president of the USA. Is this really going to happen?

Mr. Gingrich, reached by telephone, said that he was aware that his wife had been on a list for the job, but declined to say where things stood. [...]

Mr. Trump has known the Gingriches socially for years. They’re members of his golf club in Virginia, and have been at his club, Mar-a-Lago, in Palm Beach, Fla. Mr. Gingrich was one of the people whom Mr. Trump consulted in 2015 when he had already determined he would run for president.

She's Newt Gingrich's third wife, and Donald Trump is on wife number three, as well, so that nod to the Trinity may get the Trump administration in good with the Holy See, too. Does Donald Trump know the Vatican is not all that hot on divorce? Even with Francis's apparently evolving thoughts on whether divorced-and-remarried Catholics should receive the sacraments, we're not sure the diplomatic corps at the Vatican would be entirely down with the whole open marriage thing Newt reportedly proposed to his second wife when he was already schtupping Callista. Again, Francis would probably shrug and say, "you be you, just don't despoil the planet," because he's cool like that. But the optics could be a little awkward.

Or maybe sending Callista to the Vatican would just be revenge for Francis badmouthing President Strangehair during the campaign. On the upside, assuming Newt Gingrich would accompany her to Rome, we might see him a little less often on cable TV, and that's a good thing all on its own, as well as marking your OPEN THREAD.


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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