Nice Republicans Demand SCOTUS Give Them All The Gay Marriages

What a silly news day it has been, what with learning that Future Permanent Queen Of America Hillary Clinton still has to load one of those free AOL disks every time she wants to do either diplomacy or lunch with a foreign official, and that awful warmonger, who is not Dick Cheney, talking to Congress about how Iran will destroy Israel on Twitter, we are exhausted.

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Let's end the day with Nice Time, can we? YES WE CAN. Because here is a very nice diverse group of Republicans who are filing an amicus brief with the Supreme Court that says please sirs and ma'ams, we would all like a heaping serving of gay marriage, in June if that's convenient for you:

Right Turn has learned that an impressive array of Republicans and Gen. Stanley McChrystal will be filing an amicus brief on Friday in support of gay marriage with the Supreme Court in DeBoer v. Snyder. The case will decide, in the wake of cases striking down the Defense of Marriage Act, if states can restrict marriage to heterosexual couples or if gay marriage falls within the protection afforded by the 14th Amendment.

The brief’s signatories include former Republican National Committee chairman Ken Mehlman, conservative pundits S.E. Cupp and Alex Castellanos, former White House chief of staff Ken Duberstein, former Mitt Romney senior advisers Beth Myers and Carl Forti, conservative economists Doug Holtz-Eakin (formerly director of the Congressional Budget Office) and Greg Mankiw (formerly on the Council of Economic Advisers), former senator Alan Simpson (R-Wyo.), former homeland security adviser Fran Townsend and former Massachusetts state Senate minority leader Richard Tisei. The presence of an esteemed general suggests that there is no segment of society in which gay marriage is not gaining acceptance.

Okay, so Richard Tisei and Ken Mehlman are RINO homosexuals who are only Republicans in order to infiltrate the ranks with glitter and sodomy, THEY DON'T COUNT, but the rest of those are real Republicans, we think! S.E. Cupp probably is a RINO too, because she is an atheist, but Alex Castellanos is the real deal. Way to go, everyone!

And getting an esteemed general like McChrystal to sign on? It seems like just yesterday that he was getting fired for insubordination for talking shit about handsome Joe Biden in a war zone. But bygones, everyone, bygones! To be fair, they probably called David Petraeus first to see if he would sign it, but Petraeus was all "HAVING SEX, BRO, talk later?" and so they had to go with their second choice.

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For serious, it does show how far things have come, to have a diverse group of Republicans like this signing on. Jennifer Rubin, in her piece, argues that, much to the chagrin of the perpetually hysterical Bryan Fischer and Tony Perkins types, who are wishin' and hopin' that Americans will react to a marriage decision the way they did to Roe v. Wade, even Republican politicians who currently oppose marriage equality will most likely just shrug their shoulders and respect the law, and Bryan and Tony might have to get REAL JOBS. It says something big that Alabama's tantrum was such an outlier. Oh, Oklahoma and Kansas are still bitching, but it's kinda like "meh nobody is listening."

So this concludes your Nice Time, Republican gay marriages for everybody, and you can all go back to chatting with Hillz on the AIM now.

[Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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