Nice Time: Michelle Obama Feeds Pandas, Does Not Chastise Them To Get More Exercise


Doge knows we could all use some Nice Time right now, and could there be anything better than watching Michelle Obama coo over some pandas at a reserve in China? No, there could not. So here is Her Highness and Most Exalted Queen of All Americans, along with her mother and daughters, on a tour of the Chengdu Panda Base in China. Look, pandas eating bamboo! Look, Michelle and mom Marian use a long stick to dangle what looks like an apple slice in front of a panda! OMG OMG OMG!!!!

Of course if Her Majesty had wanted to see some pandas she could have just gone down the street to the National Zoo instead of spending all our taxpayer dollars on a trip to China, where she has been staying in an opulent suite at a luxury hotel, laying her beautiful head on pillows stuffed with the hair of political prisoners, probably, and visiting with Chinese students and playing ping-pong while Vladimir Putin is on the march and that Malaysian jetliner is still missing and her husband engages in yet more unlawful tyranny by extending the deadline for people to sign up for health insurance by a couple of weeks. Because no First Lady in history has ever travelled to a foreign nation to do outreach to other cultures and show them that Americans are not all slovenly xenophobes with high-fructose corn syrup addictions and waistlines the approximate circumference of Kilauea. WOLVERINES!!!!

Whew, thinking like a wingnut is exhausting. We’re going to watch Michelle and family coo over the pandas again. Because Nice Time!



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