Elizabeth Warren Sending Her Aunt Bee To Give EVERYBODY Childcare!
Even better, you can get your own publicly funded Aunt Bee!
Elizabeth Warren rolled out a very solid plan for universal childcare today, and we're impressed. Looks like Democrats are going to have a serious debate about family, work, and how the two should fit together, which as plenty of advocates have noted, they currently do not, no not at all. We're excited, even though our own childcare days are well past, because damn it, this is about fairness for everyone, especially the kids.
Warren starts her pitch by emphasizing she's been there, noting that when she was raising her kids and teaching at a law school in Houston, the babysitter quit. She looked for other arrangements, and didn't find anything she could afford that provided good care:
I tried all sorts of child care options: another babysitter, a neighbor with kids, and a couple of daycare centers. One day I picked up my son Alex from daycare and found that he had been left in a dirty diaper for who knows how long. I was upset with the daycare but, more than anything, angry with myself for failing my baby.
Eventually, she called her Aunt Bee in Oklahoma and told her everything was falling apart and she feared she'd have to quit to take care of her children.
Then Aunt Bee said eleven words that changed my life forever: "I can't get there tomorrow, but I can come on Thursday." Two days later, she arrived at the airport with seven suitcases and a Pekingese named Buddy — and stayed for 16 years.
Elizabeth Warren wants everyone to have an Aunt Bee, or at least affordable childcare. Unfortunately, leaving childcare solely up to the private sector just hasn't worked, and that has contributed to poverty for lots of working parents, who may not even be able to afford the cheapest shoddiest care and end up not working as a result. Warren notes, "in more than half the states in the country, a year of child care costs more than a year of in-state college tuition."
Look At All The Nice Things. Just LOOK At Them!
Go read some excellent longform journamalism and essays! Also, horror movies and race! And MORE!
If it's Sunday, this must be Nice Things, our weekly escape from the quotidian awfulness. Our featured doggo this week comes via a photo by Wonkette reader "Teecha," and we don't think Teecha mentioned a name for this lovely old rescue dog. If it is a dog at all: I think it may actually be one of Sia's more inventive disguises, like that time she was a little pony.
SOCIALISTS COMING FOR YOUR FAMILY VALUES, EVERYBODY PANIC!
Hey, what if we REALLY acted like children are the future?
We actually have a genuine Nice Time for you today -- none of that mixed-blessing stuff like a story of a good person who got horribly discriminated against but then had the last laugh. Nope, this is just a terrific idea about reshaping a part of the economy to fit human needs and make everyone's life better, except of course for the lives of greedheads, but they're all miserable anyway because of all the Greed.
The nonprofit People's Policy Project has a nifty proposal for a national family policy that would put economic equality behind the notion of "family values" and address the decidedly non-family-friendly realities of capitalism. They call the thing the "Family Fun Pack," and you better bet they're deliberately playing off the silly advertise-y tone of that slogan. Heck, why use that name for discount tickets to a water park when we could make actual families' lives better?
Yr Sunday Nice Things Are Here. No Jeff Bezos's Junk Anywhere!
We have Worst Field Trips, Kids Learning About Sharks, a book club, and more!
Time for our weekly respite from the standard parade of awful that the news has become here in the worst timeline, where our Spock won't just have a beard; he'll also have a green mohawk. Enjoy a nice brain cleanse, and we'll ease back into the madness later.
If These Aren't Nice Things, I Don't Know What Is!
Kids tell goofy kid jokes, cool science, journalism saves the day, and more
Time again for our weekly break from the daily grind of awful, which will of course still be with us later. This week's featured critter is Princess Leia, a rescue pupper belonging to Wonkette Operative "Shastakoala." This is what happens when you let your ten-year-old name the adult dog of decidedly non-Alderaan origins you brought home. (She's clearly an Ewok anyway) But hey, the boy was crazy about Star Wars at the time, you love the boy, so Princess Leia it is.
Why Yes, We CAN Have Nice Things!
We've got Trucker Cats, History Nerding, super-gross science, and some nifty longreads for ya!
It's Sunday morning, the government is going to reopen, That Man In the White House is probably tweeting something we're paying absolutely no attention to (no! don't look!), and it's time for some Nice Things! No, we're not going to start including a Sunday puzzle, because we don't want Will Shortz threatening to break our kneecaps again. Note that instead of a random Cute Aminal from the interwebs, this week's header pic is a reader's pet dorg, Molly, who owns Special Wonkette Operative "capnkrunch." If you'd like your critter to maybe be in a featured Nice Things photo, what the hey, post in the comments, which we don't allow. Or send a critter pic to doktorzoom at-sign wonkette dot com, and I might even remember to look at my email for once. You could even include your critter's name and, if necessary, species.
We Got Yer Internet Nice Things Right Here, Buddy
How about a Twitter horror story that became an actual horror movie? Also, some seriously cute quokkas!
Our new Sunday thing -- bringing you a bunch of stuff that's a time-out from the usual rottenness -- seems to have gone over pretty well last week, so hey, let's keep it up with the nice stuff, because there's plenty of unremittingly grim/horrifying content for the rest of the week. No, don't worry, we'll still cuss, because after all, this is Wonkette's version of "nice," fuckers.
Connecticut Governor Inspires White Dads Everywhere To DANCE!
Flay that funky music, white boy.
From the magical world of Twitter, we learn that newly sworn-in Connecticut Governor Ned Lamont "isn't afraid to live his best life and dance like no one is watching." And even if they are, he's having fun, and honestly we wish we could dance this weirdly and exuberantly without giving a single fuck what anyone says.
He's wonderful and loopy, and we approve. And it only slightly reminds us of Twilight Sparkle dancing. God help us we are nerds.
[Chris Soto on Twitter]
Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Send us money or Dok will dance. [No he won't]
Gabby Giffords Was Shot Eight Years Ago. Yesterday, She Helped Introduce A Dem Gun Bill.
Way better than thoughts n prayers.
Former congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords joined Nancy Pelosi in Washington yesterday to roll out a Democratic bill requiring background checks for all gun purchases, including private transactions and sales at gun shows. The bill, House Bill 8, was timed to mark the eight-year anniversary of the deadly shooting in Tucson during a meet-and-greet with Giffords in a Safeway parking lot. Six people died, including nine-year-old politics geek Christina-Taylor Green. She'd be a high school junior now. Maybe a kid who might have traveled to Washington last summer to protest guns.
Fifteen people were injured, including Giffords, who suffered permanent brain injury after being shot in the head. Giffords has since become a fearsome force for common-sense gun regulations, which has made her, of course, the subject of some truly vile reactions from the usual gun-humping suspects.
Now that we've had nearly two decades since Columbine to try out the "let's have more guns everywhere" approach, maybe it's time for a different strategy. Let's also not forget there was a "good guy with a gun" at the scene of the Tucson shooting -- and that thankfully, he decided not to shoot the guy he saw holding a gun. That was another good guy who had taken the gun away from the shooter.
A Sunday Compendium Of Things That Don't Suck
Figured we could use that, huh?
Yr Wonkette has been fairly free of notable deleted comments this week. Sure, turgid love-muscle guy showed up after an absence of a couple months, but his schtick hasn't changed. So instead of our usual Dear Shitferbrains column, we figured we'd just bring you some stuff we've been reading and enjoying instead. Let's recharge our batteries, and then tomorrow we'll dive back into the horrorshow again. And, like, you can all recommend books and teevee and other relief from all the madness too, or at least you could, if Wonkette allowed comments, which we do not.
Who's Doing Good New Laws? Is It Dems? Is It DEMS? Yes It IS!
Awww, they think they're people!
As ever, the new year brings with it a bunch of new laws going into effect and new people in office, so let's take a moment to pet and love some nifty new developments in the states. Maybe not all the states (Bad Georgia! Bad!) but there's some Good Laws and Good Government out there. Here, have a Snausage and celebrate!
California: That Doggie (And Kitty, And Bunny) In The Window Has To Come From A Shelter, Hooray!
A new breed of animal-welfare law went into effect in the Golden State January 1: Pet stores will now be banned from selling dogs, cats, and rabbits from commercial breeders. Instead, those pets will have to come from shelters. The law is the first statewide ban on sales of pets from breeders, and is intended to put "puppy mills" and "kitten factories" (and we guess ..."bunny bodegas"?) out of business. The law was passed in October 2017, but only went into effect now to give pet shops time to adjust to the new rules.
A fact sheet for the 2017 law, AB 485, explained the new regulations were intended to crack down on unregulated breeding facilities that "house animals in overcrowded and unsanitary conditions without adequate food, water, socialization or veterinary care." Pet stores violating the law will have to pay a fine of $500 per animal.
Meet Your 2018 Legislative Badasses Of The Year: Kamala Harris And Pramila Jayapal!
Runner Up: Nancy Pelosi!
Happy New Year, Wonkeroos, and welcome to another goddamn year of Trump, only this time around we'll have House Democrats IN POWER, to make Trump's life more interesting and also demand his tax returns. It's time for our traditional midnight post, the awarding of our coveted Legislative Badass of the Year Award, which this year we've decided to award jointly for badassery in the US Senate, to Kamala Harris of California, and in the House of Representatives, to Pramila Jayapal of Washington (the state, not the only semi-represented city/district, and hey, let's FIX THAT). Both are relative newcomers to Congress, having been elected to their respective seats in 2016, but holy Left Coast, have they made a splash all year. Let us hope they manage to somehow be even more impressive in 2019.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Too Busy For Cancer, Already Back At Work, F*CKIN' TOLD Y'ALL SO
Now go forth and have a happy The Holidays!
WHAT DID WE SAY? Ah, we remember it well, because it was just Friday! We had just heard news that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg had undergone surgery to remove two malignant nodes on one of her lungs, and everybody was like OMG DO NOT DIE, JUSTICE GINSBURG, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE! PLEASE ACCEPT AS MANY OF MY LUNGS AS YOU WOULD LIKE AND ALSO TELL ME YOU'LL BE OK!
And we said that sure, it's scary to hear that news, especially for the justice herself, since it's her health we are talking about after all. We also said that she is a tough woman, she's healthier than you are (fact), and that she would be back to bench pressing YOUR DAD within days.
Were we right? Pffffffft, when is Wonkette not right?
It's 'Giving Tuesday,' So GIVE IT, You!
Money can't buy happiness, but it can pay for lawyers and doctors and feeding poors. Hop to it!
It's the annual start of the War On Christmas season. You've all made the leftover turkey into the excellent strata and eaten that, too, and you've very thoughtfully bought NOTHING on Commerce Friday and Teen Wage-Slave Saturday, and you refrained from celebrating Gassing Mothers and Children Sunday, because you are not a monster like Timi Lathrop. And now it is the HashtagGivingTuesday, when you leverage your extra cash into helping other people, only without being all sanctimonious about it because you're better than that (and immune to flattery, too, even though you're much more generous, smarter, and better-looking than others. Have we mentioned you really smell good, too?).
So here, let Yr Wonkette tell you where you should send your generosity, and in the comments you can suggest other worthy causes also too! Many but not all of these are legit tax-deductible charities what you can deduct on your taxes, but you'll want to check the fine print and shit because that's how you should do.
Wonkette's Top Ten Is BACK IN ACTION!
Did you miss me?
I told Evan to go ahead and skip the Top Ten, and I would write it at ya, to thank you for sending me to #Mexico and give you baby pictures of #Mexico, and you know what that bitch did? He started the post anyway and put all the links in it, like some kind of common helpful DOK. He either would like a raise, or to ensure that ONLY HIS POSTS WERE ADDED BY "BEYONCE."
Let's learn, together, about what happened this week while mama did vacation like a common Michelle Obama, spending all the GRRR TAXPAYER MONEY all la-di-da, going to Spain to see the king!
George Soros Is A Goddamn HERO
And it's time we started saying so!
Huddle up, kids! I'm about to tell you Uncle George Soros's One Weird Trick for making money. READY?
Figure out the difference between reality and the BS people believe because they want it to be true, and bet the spread. You can call it arbitrage, or use his own "Theory of Reflexivity" terminology, but that's basically it. George Soros didn't invent it, and he sure as hell didn't make the laws that allow it, but he did use them and his own prodigious intellect to make billions betting against the British pound in 1992. For which he was labeled "The Man Who Broke the Bank of England." Welcome to being a Jew in the modern world -- play the game by rules you didn't set up, then get called a cheater when you win.
Yes, this is less worse than African Americans having to work twice as hard to get half as far. But we are not in competition for world's most oppressed minority. It's not a zero-sum game, and we all need to lift each other up. Indeed, George Soros spent tens of billions of dollars lifting up poor people across the globe and promoting democracy. And that's why Republicans hate him. Because in their screwed-up worldview, a man who put up $35 million to secure matching federal funds to get every poor kid in New York City $200 for school supplies is an existential threat to the American way of life. Very Christian!
And he did flee the Nazis, by the way. Trump's bigoted base happily swallows lies peddled by Fox and the wingnut demimonde that Soros was a collaborator who led Jewish deportees to their deaths, or even that he was an SS officer. In fact, he was a 14-year-old Jewish boy in Hungary, using false papers claiming to be a Christian child, who fled to England, started out hawking souvenirs, and wound up with a master's degree from the London School of Economics. He became the most successful hedge fund manager in history, and went on to donate at least $20 billion to making the world a fairer place through various pro-democracy and pro-Democratic efforts. Which is philanthropy and political activism when your side does it, but is nefarious fifth-column stuff when the donor is on the other side. And so much the better if he's an un-photogenic Jew with an accent!
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