Moms Demand Action Get Some Action In The Keystone State!
Surprise, NRA's A Asshole about it.
Let's take a much-needed break from our regularly scheduled War on Women to announce some good news for a change. The Pennsylvania Senate just passed House Bill 2060 by a 43 to 5 vote. The bill, which sailed through the Pennsylvania House last week, will require people convicted of misdemeanor domestic abuse and people with a final protection from abuse (PFA) order to surrender their firearms within 24 hours, either directly to law enforcement or a gun dealer. They used to just have the option of turning their weapons over to friends and family, which is a useful cell phone plan but is idiotic when it comes to protecting victims of domestic violence.
Guess who's being a dick? No, guess. Really, try harder. It's NRA-TV and Dana Loesch!
Wrongly Convicted Man Set Free After 27 Years By Super Sleuths At ... Golf Digest!
FUCKING GOLF CLAP, GENTS!
It's not every day Golf Digest gets noticed as a source of hard-hitting investigative journalism, at least outside of reviews of titanium carbon fiber nanotech infinite improbability drivers or some such. But Wednesday, some journamalisming that started with a Golf Digest story about a guy who drew fantastic imaginary golf courses concluded with that guy, Valentino Dixon, walking out of Attica prison, 27 years after he'd been sentenced for 39 years to life. Not bad, Golf Digest. We give you a GOLF CLAP. And a Pulitzer if we had one, which, sadly, we don't.
As Golf Digest says, the twists and turns of the case are a bit complex (they're unraveled in more detail in this New York Times story), but it basically comes down to a local prosecutor who was determined to railroad Dixon for the 1991 murder of a 17-year-old, Torriano Jackson, in Buffalo, New York. The conviction involved
shoddy police work, zero physical evidence linking Dixon, conflicting testimony of unreliable witnesses, the videotaped confession to the crime by another man, a public defender who didn't call a witness at trial, and perjury charges against those who said Dixon didn't do it.
Dixon had a prior conviction for selling cocaine, and he made a convenient target for Erie County prosecutor Chris Belling, who was weirdly determined to ignore even statements from the actual killer, LaMarr Scott, who pleaded guilty to the killing shortly before Dixon's release this week.
Plucky Maine Library Decides Not To Censor Own 'Banned Books' Display
Meta-censorship crisis narrowly averted!
After a brief hubbub and a rather pitched fuck-tussle, the public library in Rumford, Maine (population 5,700 or so), voted not to give in to a request by three local pastors to please remove several books on LGBTQ subjects from its "Banned Books" display. The pastors had sent a letter to the library board fretting the display was "promoting homosexuality" and that the books were "not appropriate for a public area" of the library, where children might see them. Heavens, one of the books even had a cover depicting (in comics form) "two naked ladies on the cover." It is unknown from local media reports whether any livestock in the area became sterile or a baby was born with a caul as a result of the books being on display, although reliable sources indicate a black cat was seen standing on its hind legs, like unto a man.
Jerry Brown Saves World Again, This Time With 100% Green Energy For California
Now to build a wind generator between Trump's ears...
California, the fifth-largest economy in the world, is now committed to generating 100 percent of its electricity cleanly by 2045. Yesterday, Gov. Jerry Brown signed SB 100, making it the second state (after Hawaii), to commit to phasing out fossil fuels completely in power generation. The move is expected to be great for the growing green energy sector and the development of carbon sequestration technology, but even better, it'll really piss off conservatives. Isn't that why anything gets passed anymore?
Barack Obama Kicks Off Midterms By Kicking Donald Trump IN THE ASS
He's bringing sexy back. That Trump motherfucker don't know how to act.
BARRY BAMZ-A-LOT OBAMA THE KENYAN GAY USURPER IS BACK, and not a moment too soon!
If this dumbfuck week has gotten you down in the dumps, be happy that President Obama chose today to officially start campaigning for the midterms, and he had a lot to say! (Also be happy that Trump campaign foreign policy adviser George PapaSmurfOlous is being sentenced today, TO JAIL.)
It was a very good speech. Remember the olden days when the president of the United States was an attractive, legitimately elected man who was fluent in English? Oh, nostalgia! Obama didn't shy away from calling Donald Trump by his name, either. We guess that whole "presidents don't openly criticize presidents" thing is on pause right now, perhaps because the thin-skinned wannabe tyrant in the White House is worse than any of us ever imagined.
But it wasn't all about Trump! A lot of it was about who Democrats are, what we're fighting for, and why we the diverse majority should fight to take this country back from the backward minority of dead-end deplorables who currently hold power.
Eastern Washington Wonkers, Are You Spokane For?
We can all hang out at Rachel Dolezal's place. Or better, not!
It is Friday, Yr Wonkette's back end (that's website talk) has been cranky all afternoon like a digital babby that needs a nap, and we are all stuck in the stupidest timeline. The one way we know it's not actually hell is that there are still adorable doggies and kitties and sloths, no to mention toddlers preschoolers named Donna Rose, and of course you, you lovely wonderful readers of ourn. And if you're in Eastern Washington or its environs, you can come out to meet Yr Editrix, Yr Shypixel, and Yr one day Benevolent Monarch Donna Rose come this Sunday in the Evergreen State's second-largest city, Spokane!
Please Tell Us What Is Going On With These Creepy DIY Videos
This is your open thread!
Hello, and welcome to your Saturday open thread! This week, I bring you the most confusing video series in all of existence, from a mysterious YouTube account called Troom Troom. I found them about a month or so ago, and have been deeply obsessed with them ever since. And now you will be, too! You are welcome.
St. Louis Decides Black Lives Matter In Ferguson After All
Revenge is best served electorally.
Not even my morning pot of dark roast could recharge me more than reading that Robert McCulloch's 28-year run as prosecutor for St. Louis County, Missouri, ended after Wesley Bell beat him like a pinata in the Democratic primary last night. McCullough is most known for giving Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson a pat on the head and a lollipop after he shot and killed Michael Brown, armed with blackness, in 2014. He behaved more like Wilson's defense attorney than a prosecutor. McCullough tanked the grand jury proceedings so completely it was no wonder they declined to indict. Worst of all, he likely lit the fuse that led to the weeks of unrest in Ferguson after he announced the grand jury's decision at the worst possible moment and lectured the true villains of social media and the "news cycle" that struck him as curiously obsessed with seeking justice for a teenager shot dead and left to rot in the middle of the street.
Bell, a Ferguson city councilman, admitted even some of his friends didn't think he could unseat McCullough, but once the votes were counted, Bell, 43, had smoked McCullough, 67, by a whopping 13 point margin. All I can say is it feels good.
CNN, MSNBC Get Pat On The Head For Not Covering Trump Slob Picnics
Now go, and show no more Trump rallies.
Yr Wonkette is a big believer in positive reinforcement when someone gets it right, which is why we sometimes give a pat on the head to, say, Rick Scott's less-than-terrible gun bill after the Parkland massacre, or the new EPA chief undoing Scott Pruitt's final (chronologically) awful environmental order, or even Pat Robertson saying gender reassignment surgery is not a sin. And while cable news remains a brain dulling morass most of the time, today we offer CNN and MSNBC a head pat, a bit of kibble, and a hearty "Who's a good dog? Is it YOU?" for an exemplary bit of good behavior: They've finally broken the bad habit of carrying Donald Trump rallies live.
Reunited Families Finally Meet Some Real Americans
We're not crying, YOU'RE ... yeah, we're crying some too.
Now that the Trump administration has achieved its D+ grade in reuniting 2/3 of the families it tore apart with the family separation policy, what's next for the families who've been reunited? For a lot of them, it's going to be more limbo: waiting to find out whether they'll be deported, and if so, some parents will have to decide whether to ask for their children to be sent to family members here in the US to pursue an asylum claim alone. Other families who have requested asylum and have passed the "credible fear" test (the first stage of screening) are being released from detention, but have no idea how to get to their next stop in America. Fortunately, a small army of volunteers, advocacy groups, and companies has sprung up in to coordinate food, travel, and temporary housing for the asylum seekers across the country. There are far more Americans who hate what the Trump administration has done than support it, and they're doing all they can to tell asylum seekers they're welcome.
Barack Obama's Here To Help Us Get Past These Hell Times
Remember what a real president sounds like?
Barack Obama delivered his first major address of his post-presidency Tuesday at an event in Johannesburg, South Africa, honoring the 100th anniversary of Nelson Mandela's birth. It was -- as you'd expect for the occasion -- appropriately dignified and thoughtful. It was also every bit as inspiring as you might expect from the first black American president speaking in memory of the first black president of a nation that for most of its modern history was synonymous with apartheid. Let's take some time to bask in what an actual world leader sounds like, shall we?
RAICES Offers Donald Trump Big Bucks To Let The Migrant Mamas Go
Finally a language he understands
RAICES, the San Antonio-based immigrants rights group, has collected more than $20 million in its drive to provide legal representation and bond money for families sucked into Donald Trump's "zero tolerance" border policy -- maybe some of it from you! So now members of RAICES are marching -- today! -- from Capitol Hill to the White House to present a great big novelty check for $20 million for immigrant parents' bail. Trump has used children as hostages to his political agenda, so how about a big fat ransom payment?
How To Moisturize Better Than Scott Pruitt, Without Assistance From Your Security Detail
Learn Robyn's completely ridiculous skincare routine! It involves SO MUCH SNAIL MUCIN.
I wouldn't go taking any lotion advice from this dude.
Judge Tells Maine Gov. Paul LePage To Expand Medicaid Or GTFO
Just because voters passed a law doesn't mean the governor has to do what that law says, does it? Sounds like socialism or something.
And he does, every time he has a microphone in front of him.
Virginia Gonna Finally Let Poor People See Doctors. Tell Us Again How Voting Doesn't Matter?
Healthcare was a winning issue in Virginia last fall. It needs to be a central issue in 2018, too.
Come and get your love
Y'all Getting Rowdy In Here?
Care for a drink?
Looks like time to hit the liquor store
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