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Nikki Haley Will Get Lucky With All Other S.C. Republicans, Too

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Despite detailed accusations that she's having anti-Republican sexytime with half the Republican staffers and bloggers in South Carolina, Nikki Haley still has a 20-point lead in the polls and should sorta win the GOP primary tomorrow to eventually become America's Hilarious New Mark Sanford. This is good for Wonkette! And it's also a weird story, because South Carolina is run by white plantation owners -- generally big fat bloated whites-only Country Club types dribbling their "Palmetto Fizz" down their golf shirts -- and Nikki Haley is a hotIndian Sikh gal, which makes her both a Minority and a Woman, two things southern Republicans typically despise. What is happening?


Plenty of S.C. good old boys still understand the threat of having a sexy foreign lady winning control of South Carolina's nuclear arsenal, of course. Swollen pink pig/state senator Jake Knotts noted that Haley was a "fucking raghead," just like Barack Obama, and that she's some kind of muslin terrorist from India, which is especially dangerous considering "we're at war over there," in India. (Did you know?)

But, as Jenny Sanford proved by getting a book deal out of her cheating husband's Argentine-Appalachian sex adventures, there are Republican women in South Carolina, too. And at least some of them are probably swayed by the idiot Twitterings of Sarah Palin, Nikki Halley's BFF on Facebook.

Still, Haley has little chance of actually winning the primary, because she needs 50% to avoid a runoff, and right now she's looking at between 31% and 43%. But that's also a double-digit gap between the latest polling, so who knows. [Talking Points Memo]

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And now for some very serious TUT TUTTING! It's time again for Republicans to make sad words about President Treason McTraitorpants selling out the country. This time they are seriously concerned, nay even deeply troubled, that Donald Trump would stand next to Vladimir Putin and pretend the Russians didn't hack the 2016 election. These patriotic Republicans are shocked, SHOCKED! Well, not, like, upset enough to do anything about it -- not with a fascist carpooler to jam into the Supreme Court. But they've got tweets, so it's all good!

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Republicans are in a pickle. Midterms are coming up and the party in the White House usually loses seats in those elections. It doesn't help their chances that their guy Donald Trump frolics through fields holding hands with self-made Russian dictator and coincidental poisoner Vladimir Putin, who our own justice department believes attacked our mostly free elections and our true national monument, the Internet.

If you're as old as I am, you'll recall that back in the 1980s, the whole Republican brand involved not trusting the Ruskies, and they were especially disappointed when Kevin Costner turned out to be one in No Way Out. Now, the current Republican president is talking like some kind of crazy commie lib, bashing the FBI and giving the benefit of the doubt to a former KGB agent. During an interview Sunday where he wore a hat with "USA" in big letters on it, presumably so someone could easily return him if he got lost on the field trip, Trump went so far as to call the European Union a "foe" of his country, which if you believe his hat is supposedly the United States not Russia.

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