No, Joe Biden Does Not In Fact Want To F**k Tha Police

Donald Trump and his GOP stooges are desperately trying to paint Joe Biden, an author of the 1994 crime bill, and Kamala Harris, a former California prosecutor, as anti-law enforcement. Trump is the one, however, who associates with known felons and attacks the FBI.

Even by the police's melodramatic teenager standards where if you don't let them do whatever they want, you must hate them, there's not much evidence that Biden hates cops. As conservative Max Boot noted, Biden doesn't support defunding the police or abolishing ICE. But Trump doesn't need proof when he's got instinct or at least manipulated video.

Very early Wednesday morning, the president ... of the United States ... retweeted a video of Biden playing N.W.A's 1988 “Fuck Tha Police" on his phone and nodding his head along in elderly appreciation, like they were his grandkids or something. Uncle Joe declares that “if I had the talent of any one of these people, I'd be elected president by acclamation." I won't share Trump's tweet but I will share “Fuck Tha Police." It's a classic jam.

Trump asks in his tweet, "What is this all about?" Fortunately, Trump isn't your own confused parent who might seriously consider the possibility that Joe Biden, the Democratic nominee for president, would play “Fuck Tha Police" in public. You don't have to be nice. You can freely shout at Trump: “This is a doctored video, you moron! Stop watching Fox News and go read books with words in them. Your brain is broken."

Twitter, ever responsible, slapped a “manipulated video" warning label on the tweet after it had been viewed almost two million times. What good is that supposed to do? It reminds me of those commercials where someone does something reckless like fight a bear after eating a candy bar and "do not attempt" appears at the bottom of the screen in small print. No one dumb enough to slap a bear is going to read and process this warning. They won't even wear a mask.

The actual video is from a Florida event celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month. The singer Luis Fonsi introduced Biden, who played Fonsi's song, “Despacito." Ricky Martin also introduced Biden, but he didn't play “Livin' La Vida Loca." How quickly we forget.

“Despacito," which features the rapper Daddy Yankee, is presumably more cop friendly than “Fuck Tha Police." There's even a Justin Bieber remix.

Rightwing media immediately criticized Biden for what they considered a pandering “cringe" moment.

"Does @JoeBiden realize that Despacito means 'slowly'? Fits well with Slow Joe," Trump campaign senior adviser Mercedes Schlapp quipped.

That's from a Fox News article. I don't think that's much of a “quip." Republicans' canny strategy of reminding everyone that Biden's old isn't going to help them carry Florida or Arizona, where old people roam free in golf carts. Also, the slowness referenced in the song ain't about shuffleboard. Billboard provided an English translation a few years ago.

I want to breathe in your neck slowly
Let me murmur things in your ear
So that you remember if you're not with me
I want to undress you in kisses slowly

So, Mercedes Schlapp thinks this “fits well with Slow Joe"? No wonder Dr. Jill Biden's always smiling, unlike Melania Trump. But also: Ew.

By the way, the doctored Biden video includes the following lyrics from N.W.A's “Fuck Tha Police."

Fuck the police comin' straight from the underground
A young n***a got it bad 'cause I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority
Fuck that shit, 'cause I ain't the one

Sadly, that's not dated at all.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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