No Known Vaccine For Scourge Of 'Cell Phone Elbow'

  • A year ago, Barack Obama kept saying that we shouldn't have a national health insurance mandate except for kids. Now he has totally stolen Hillary Clinton's idea, which he probably agreed with anyhow, for Socialism. [AP]
  • President Obama addressed the Muslim world, from Africa, using certain Arabic words, just to prove how guiltily un-American he is. [Los Angeles Times]
  • A new poll shows that Republican bitching about the wild-eyed race warrior and known Puerto Rican separatist Sonia Sotomayor has not swayed the opinion of anybody outside of their sad little fold. [Wall Street Journal]
  • Gordon Brown's premiership is probably safe for now because anybody who succeeded him would have to immediately call a general election, in which the Labour party would likely be smeared against the wall like a fat housefly. [Guardian]
  • Wall Mart will solve our national unemployment problem by creating 22,000 jobs this year. [Reuters]
  • Cubital tunnel syndrome, aka "cell phone elbow," is basically worse than ebola and AIDS combined, in your elbow. [Fox News]

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