Nobody Wants To Have Barbecue With John McCain
Even though WALNUTS! has the most tantalizing dry-rub recipe this side of Rudolph Valentino, an overwhelming majority of Americans would rather enjoy a tasty side of Barack Obama this summer. A survey reveals the tragic truth: nobody wants to hang out with the angry old war vet except other angry old war vets.
Here are the sad statistics about McNasty's Dashed Summer Barbecue Dreams:
While many are still deciding who should be president, by 52 percent to 45 percent they would prefer having Obama than McCain to their summer cookout, according to an Associated Press-Yahoo News poll released Wednesday. ...
Having Obama to a barbecue would be like a relaxed family gathering, while inviting McCain "would be more like a retirement party than something fun," said Wesley Welbourne, 38, a systems engineer from Washington, D.C.
[HAHAHA which one of you jackholes is "Wesley Welbourne"? -- Ed.]
The news is so terrible that one in six self-declared McCain voters would still rather have barbecue with Barack Obama, knowing that WALNUTS! barbecues don't end until somebody gets a corn cob lodged in their colon, for good luck.
Four years ago, detailed voter data showed that most Americans would prefer to have a beer with George Bush than John Kerry, even though George Bush doesn't drink (in public!). Democrats were all, "Whatever, the job of the President isn't to hang out with idiot voters, it's to govern!" And now we can say to that: John Kerry was a douche, just like John McCain.