None Of Us Are Good Enough Liars To Be GOP's Bought-And-Paid-For Supreme Court Justices
video via

It's been a long week, so here, start your morning with some videos. Some POWERFUL videos.

As we've watched the illegitimate Supreme Court prepare to ignore almost 50 years of precedent in order to impose their foul fascist god's will on the rest of us, one notable aspect of that has been realizing what fucking liars these conservative justices are. As in, they lied to the Senate and the American people to get their jobs, specifically about Roe v. Wade. Wouldn't that be considered perjury to Congress? Shouldn't the Senate Judiciary Committee be sending the Justice Department some criminal referrals?

Well God bless those folks over at, because in their rapid response way, they've compiled the video evidence so you can show it to all your friends at church this Sunday:

One by one, the liars parade goes by.

Clarence Thomas says he believes the "Constitution protects the right to privacy" and has "no reason or agenda to prejudge the issue."

Samuel Alito, the insolent little big tough guy whose lazy My First Judicial Opinion caused all of this, said "Roe v. Wade is an important precedent of the Supreme Court" and that "when a decision is challenged and it is reaffirmed, that strengthens its value."

And then of course there are the lies from Donald Trump's stolen justices, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett. Her answers are some of the slimiest, as she parses words around whether or not Roe is "super-precedent," saying it's not, because after all, people (who want to own women's bodies as chattel) have been calling for it to be overturned from the beginning. Therefore it is not "super-precedent!" Nonetheless she promises that it is very important precedent.

And of course, for a bonus, there are all these clips of GOP Senator Susan Collins and her allegedly wide-eyed naivete, because we're supposed to buy that she really is so stupid that she believed Gorsuch and Kavanaugh when they assured her they weren't going to vote to overturn Roe.

Sorry, Senator. Nobody buys the act anymore. Go sit with Lydia and the other aunts.

One person who really doesn't buy Collins's act anymore is Stephen Colbert, who started his show last night with the most cathartic 10-minute smackdown of these lying partisan hacks who wormed their way into lifetime appointments on the Supreme Court so they could dutifully copy/paste whatever instructions the GOP decides to give them. The rage of one of his punchlines (from his talented writers' room!) inspired our headline.

We don't want to spoil a bunch of details from this monologue. We'd just note that if you want to see what tedious, tendentious bullshit it is to have to listen to Republicans whine about how this leak has destroyed the legitimacy of the Court, then watch one of America's most popular late-night hosts spend 10 full minutes essentially telling all five of these supposedly respectable justices to eat an entire bag of ethically farmed dicks.

Colbert affords the justices every ounce of respect they've earned in this monologue. He shows videos of all the justices being liars too, even more than there is in that video above.

You really hear his contempt when he talks about how Alito doesn't "give a damn" what you think, and how now women's bodily choices get to be made by "four old dudes and a woman who thinks 'The Handmaid's Tale' is a rom-com."

Enjoy it. It's scathing.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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