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Somebody's brain is broken and it is this guy's brain.


[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/600124/north-carolina-governor-suffering-extreme-case-of-butthurt-please-send-

butt-medicine"></a>[/wonkbar]Ever since North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory signed his state's grotesquely anti-LGBT hate bill into law, he has been having an EXPLOSION of butthurt over how mean everybody is being. They're canceling business plans, canceling concerts, taking away all North Carolina's precious porn, saying the governor is a common sister-honking redneck dumbass who honks his sister in the dirty way. SO MEAN. So he had to do something to "fix" it. He did not "fix" it.

Gov. McCrory has issued an executive order amending HB 2, and surprise, it is kind of bullshit. Let's look at the press release to see what it do and what it don't do:

Wow. He is STILL having an explosion of butthurt, whining about "selective outrage and hypocrisy." Like, if you could make fireworks out of butthurt, it would be the Fourth Of July in his butthole region right now.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/600110/these-dudes-cant-wait-to-pee-next-to-your-wife"></a>[/wonkbar]But reading that press release, we see that the executive order (read it all here; it's a bunch of "whereas" folllowed by total bullshit) doesn't "fix" the part about how transgender dudes are now mandated by law to make whiz-craps next to YOUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS. (Fact.) It doesn't "fix" the part about how HB 2 overrides local LGBT anti-discrimination protections. It just does two little things, adding protections for state employees and gently asking for legislation to let people sue if they've been discriminated against.

Here is more sage analysis from Slate:

[T]he executive order “affirms the private sector and local governments’ right to establish non-discrimination employment policies for its own employees” -- but this, too, fails to address the actual problem created by the bill. HB2 voided citywide nondiscrimination ordinances covering all employees within the city, not just government workers. In fact, the bill explicitly allowed cities to maintain previous policies regarding municipal workers. So this portion of McCrory's order changes absolutely nothing.

So BAD JOB and big fucking whoop, Gov. McCrory, you pig-romancing (ALLEGEDLY) asshole.

Wanna watch Captain Dickweed's video announcement of the really good job he did "fixing" the law? Here:

Ugh.

For the record, all the homogaywad civil rights organizations have read this executive order and said LOL EAT A DICK, BROSEPH. Well, actually, the ACLU and the National Center for Transgender Equality and Lambda Legal don't address people as "Broseph" or tell them to eat dicks, at least not in public. But they are having a rollicking good laugh at Governor Dildo Snout's pathetic attempt to get people to stop hating on his state and his dumbass law.

AND SO ARE WE.

[Buzzfeed / JoeMyGod / Slate]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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