North Carolina's Vote F*ckery Ends Poorly (For The Republicans Who Did It).
Despite all the vast and rampant and extremely obvious vote fuckery that went down in North Carolina's 9th district in this November's election, Republicans were still very sure that their candidate, Mark Harris, was gonna get the seat he wanted. They figured it would all blow over eventually, and Harris would just go to Congress and everything would be fine and no one would ever discuss this ugliness again.
Alas, Incoming House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer announced on Friday that Mark Harris would in fact not get to be a Congressman, because cheaters should never prosper.
Via The Washington Post:
"Given the now well-documented election fraud that took place in NC-09, Democrats would object to any attempt by [Mark] Harris to be seated on January 3," Hoyer said in a statement. "In this instance, the integrity of our democratic process outweighs concerns about the seat being vacant at the start of the new Congress."
The statement came after North Carolina dissolved its elections board Friday without certifying the Nov. 6 results, leaving the fate of the seat in doubt days ahead of the start of the new Congress.
There won't be a new elections board until January 31st, and it's unclear whether or not there will be an interim elections board in the meantime to deal with this whole thing. A hearing was scheduled for January 3rd, where the board was supposed to figure everything out and decide whether Mark Harris was going to Washington or if they need to have a whole new election, but that may end up getting put off.
Republicans in the state appear confused and bewildered by the fact that anyone is even bothering to take this whole thing seriously.
David B. Freedman, an attorney for Harris, said the Republican has cooperated with the investigation and "looks forward to this matter coming to a resolution as quickly as possible so that he may serve the people of the 9th Congressional District as he was elected to do."
In a statement to WSOC-TV in Charlotte, Dallas Woodhouse, executive director of the North Carolina Republican Party, expressed confidence that Harris would be on Capitol Hill soon.
"We believe Mark Harris is the duly elected Congressman Elect and will be certified and seated sooner rather than later," he said.
Clearly, they are operating under the misconception that this is the year 2000 and Democrats are gonna roll over and go "WELL, if he really wants it, I guess we should just let him! He seems super excited about it and it would just be rude to keep trying to make sure this election wasn't fucked with." No one cares about being rude anymore -- at least not so much that they're going to let anyone steal an election to avoid being perceived that way.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse