NOT A DRILL: Old Handsome Joe Biden Is Gonna Be On 'Law And Order: SVU'

DREAM COME TRUE!

Surely, many of us have been wondering what our favorite Wonkette heartthrob Joe Biden will be up to after he is no longer Vice President. Will he open up an ice cream parlor? Will he become try to break into the world of male modeling? WILL HE SOLVE MYSTERIES? I like to think it will be the latter! I totally think Joe Biden would be excellent at solving mysteries, ideally with the help of a quirky sidekick of some kind. I feel like I have a lot of good ideas for this scenario, but also I am half delirious from two weeks of conventions. I accept that it's possible that this may not happen, but you know what IS happening?

JOE BIDEN IS GOING TO BE ON YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOWLAW AND ORDER: SVU ! 

Which is really close to solving mysteries!

He and Dr. Jill flew into NY this morning to begin taping cameos on an episode focusing on “the rape kit backlog and efforts to end violence against women,” which is pretty fantastic. And probably he will become super best friends with Mariska Hartigay and Ice-T and they will all hang out and post pictures on Instagram for us to swoon over.

You know, this could be the beginning of a really swell late-in-life career for Old Handsome Joe Biden. I've often felt that they could always bring back Law and Order: Original Flavor if they were ever to find someone as perfect and charismatic as our beloved Jerry Orbach. And, honestly, I think Joe could work! I can totally picture him in a trench coat. Think about it, Dick Wolf!

[ Variety ]