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Not Groundbreaking News: Americans Are Fat

Wonkabout

Just eat less?: News alert: Because we are a nation of fat slobs, our government would like us to drink less sugar filled poison and stop eating spoonfuls of nitrates, lard and cat litter, even if it tastes good.  Which in D.C. translates to, maybe only have bacon covered donuts once a month? The superb journalists at The New York Times, ever eager to mock D.C., used the photo from their “D.C. sure is full of fat people” article as the photo for their article about these new dietary guidelines. Aww, thanks! [New York Times]


  • Meat and Tofu: If you don’t go on pork benders every weekend, but instead prefer to feast on tofu curry and vegan sour cherry pies, there (surprisingly!) is room for you in our small-plates-pork-infested metropolis. This week may be Meat Week, but next week is Meat-Free week, a week that features specials and discounts on various vegetable items. [Meat-Week/Meat Free Week]
  • Thursday, February 3: The hipster underbelly of D.C. will be out and about on Thursday for the Phillips After 5 event. Its got people, jazz, modern art and a cash bar! All the making of enjoyable evening, no matter how tight your pants are. $12. RSVP suggested. [Phillips After 5]
  • Friday, February 4: The Donovan House Hotel would like people to go to its rooftop bar, because a rooftop, no matter how great a view it provides, is pointless in the winter. Business then suffers, the future can no longer be won, and this is all terrible. So, go there on Friday nights for vodka served from an ice luge. You will not be disappointed? [Donovan House]
  • New Food: H Street now has "Church and State,” a bar that serves pricey craft cocktails. But, because a bar is only as good as its gimmick, the bar also has its very own confessional that will/should double as room a for sexytime. DON'T FORGET THE SCRUNCHY. [We Love DC]
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's first days in Congress have been a doozie. She's been "mistaken" for an intern or a spouse on multiple occasions, everyone's making up pretend fights that she's getting in with people she's not actually getting into fights with, and she's still somehow not performing poverty well enough to convince Fox News and other conservatives that she is not a secret billionaire.

On Wednesday, Fox News published an exposé on AOC and her vast riches -- showing that even though she said that it was going to be tough to afford an apartment in DC for the three months before she'd receive a salary, she was actually a fifteen thousandaire.

If she converted that $15K into pennies, she could probably swim in them, just like her fellow rich person Scrooge McDuck.

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This is the third time this week we've covered the mixed up files of Mrs. Cindy Hyde-Smith. I'm as happy about it as you are, but the US Senator from Mississippi has a bad habit of confessing to bad things in front of cameras. She's clearly a politician best suited for a simpler, more racist time, or at least an alternate reality where cameras weren't invented. Even the most detailed sketch of her saying stupid stuff wouldn't have the same impact.

Hyde-Smith faces Democrat Mike Espy in a runoff election on Nov. 27. Video surfaced Thursday of her at a recent campaign stop in Starkville, Mississippi, promoting the practical benefits of voter disenfranchisement.

"And then they remind me that there's a lot of liberal folks in those other schools who ... maybe we don't want to vote," Hyde-Smith is heard saying. "Maybe we want to make it just a little more difficult. And I think that's a great idea."
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