Wow, there is much going on in Impeachment Land, and we're not even talking about Nancy Pelosi's impeachment resolution passing in the House by a vote of 232 to "people who eat paste," which included two dickhole Democrats, neither of whom were Tulsi Gabbard, good job for once, Tulsi!

Let's briefly tick through some news and see if we can assess the state of play before it all changes in two hours:

John Eisenberg, YOU ARE SO FAMOUS!

Y'all remember the name John Eisenberg yet? You need to bookmark his name in your brain, because he's at the center of ALLA THIS.

Eisenberg is the top lawyer for the National Security Council who decided at some point after Trump's Crime Extortion Treason Jerkoff Call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy that all records of that call should be placed on the super secret Bin Laden server for America's deepest state secrets and also Trump's most perfect crime calls. (Transcript featuring many curious ellipses!) The White House has lately been trying to stick all the culpability for what happened after that call on Eisenberg, and while we are pretty sure he did BAD SHIT, we also doubt he is the only bad egg in the pumpkin patch.

He's also the brick wall pretty much every whistleblower and concerned White House official ran into when they heard/found out about the treason call and brought him their "concerns." When the original whistleblower went to CIA Counsel Courtney Simmons Elwood, she went to Eisenberg. He already had at that point been hearing rumblings around the water cooler about the bad call, perhaps because people had been raising alarms about it pretty much since Trump hung up the phone with Zelenskiy, and also he was the one who put the records of Trump's "perfect" shakedown call with the president of Ukraine on the Bin Laden Server.

When former NSC Russia adviser Fiona Hill got freaked out about Rudy Giuliani's shadow crime policy engagement with Ukraine, John Bolton sent her to Eisenberg.

Also Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman went to him more than once with his concerns about the Trump Ukraine crime policy, and that brings us to the new news we are learning from what he said in his testimony before the impeachment committees this week.

According to the Washington Post, Vindman was so worried about what he had just heard on Trump's crime call that he went to Eisenberg "moments" after it ended. And apparently it was right then and there that Eisenberg decided to put the call on the Bin Laden server, you know, to cover up Trump's crimes.

Scribbling notes on a yellow legal pad, Eisenberg proposed a step that other officials have said is at odds with long-standing White House protocol: moving a transcript of the call to a highly classified server and restricting access to it, according to two people familiar with Vindman's account.

So it WAS his idea to begin with! As the Post notes, this is the first witness testimony which specifically pinned that decision on Eisenberg.

You'd think Congress might want to talk to this jackhole, and you'd think right, because they have invited him to be their guest on Monday, along with another White House lawyer named Mike Ellis, who reportedly went to Eisenberg with Vindman and his brother Yevgeny, who also works at NSC.

Anything Else About Vindman's Testimony Before We Move On?

Oh just that he told Congress he's one of the 900 million people who figured out that Trump was literally doing an extortion quid pro quo to Ukraine way back at the beginning of July, before the crime call ever happened.

Another One Comes To Congress After Quitting White House To Spend More Time Not Working At White House

Tim Morrison, come on down! Tim Morrison, a John Bolton underling, was Fiona Hill's replacement as the top Russia adviser at the NSC. He held this position for approximately nine seconds -- Hill officially left in August, Morrison came in for the transition in July -- but he announced Wednesday night that he was quitting ahead of his congressional testimony, which is happening RIGHT NOW.

The Trump administratrion put on a brave face:

"After more than a year of service at the National Security Council, Mr. Morrison has decided to pursue other opportunities – and has been considering doing so for some time. We wish him well," the official said.

Yeah, you betcha.

Ambassador Bill Taylor testified that he had gone to Morrison with his worries that Trump was holding up assistance to Ukraine, and Morrison replied in August that "the president doesn't want to provide any assistance at all." More of what Taylor said about Morrison, via NPR:

Taylor testified that Morrison told him that Gordon Sondland, Trump's ambassador to the European Union, had informed a top Ukrainian official that U.S. military aid hinged on Zelenskiy's committing to investigating the firm connected with Biden's son. [...]

It was Morrison who described having a "sinking feeling" and alerted NSC lawyers after a Sept. 7 call between Sondland and Trump about the alleged pressure, according to Taylor's testimony.

Hoo boy. Remember, Trump was demanding a "deliverable" -- a CNN interview to put a fine point on it -- in exchange for congressionally appropriated military aid, because Trump didn't just want investigations, he wanted the FAKE NEWS to say Ukraine was doing investigations, to make it look legit. And Morrison had that "sinking feeling" because Trump had told Gordon Sondland that he wanted Volodymyr Zelenskiy to "go to a microphone and say he is opening investigations of Biden and 2016 election interference." On CNN, please!

And Morrison went to "NSC lawyers" with his own concerns, too? Could that be ... JOHN EISENBERG WHO IS SO FAMOUS NOW?

As we said, Morrison is in Congress right now, and oh what a testimony it's been so far! First of all, he's reportedly said yes, everything Bill Taylor said about Trump's extortion and quid pro quos and whatnot with Ukraine is exactly right.

Morrison corroborated that he spoke with Taylor at least twice in early September. The first conversation was to alert him that Gordon Sondland, the U.S. ambassador to the European Union, had told the Ukrainians that no U.S. aid would be forthcoming until they announced an investigation of Burisma, a Ukrainian energy company that had hired Biden's son Hunter, a person familiar with the matter said.

Morrison also told lawmakers that he spoke with Taylor again on Sept. 7 to share a "sinking feeling" about a worrisome conversation between Trump and Sondland, the person said. Morrison said that, during that conversation, Trump said he wasn't seeking a "quid pro quo" but went on to insist that Ukrainian President Volodymr Zelensky had to publicly announce that he was opening investigations of Biden and 2016 election interference.

Golly gee, isn't it funny how everybody seems to tell the same exact story? (You know, except Gordon Sondland, a known dipshit.)

Morrison, who, like Vindman, heard the crime call between Trump and Zelenskiy, reportedly didn't necessarily think all this crime was crime, but he definitely thought it was "problematic," in the Post's telling.

Then again, Morrison is quitting White House, so that should tell you something. And he did make noise about Trump's crime extortion with Ukraine to NSC lawyers, including the crime call on July 25, so that should also tell you something.

Anyway, does it really matter if this dude didn't necessarily think he was witnessing crimes, if he proceeds to give a chapter-and-verse description of the crimes he doesn't think are crimes? We think not.

Moving on!

Gonna Come See Congress, John Bolton? Or Do You Just Want To Write Your Book And Give Yourself Mustache Rides On Your Glorious Mustache?

John Bolton has also been invited to Congress for breakfast and lunch and dinner next Thursday! Will he show up? His lawyer Charles Cooper says Bolton's "not willing to appear voluntarily," AKA not just coming if Congress asks nicely, suggesting that maybe they'd appreciate a friendly subpoena, but the lawyer also is not saying they'd say yes to a friendly subpoena.

We doubt John Bolton wants to get in trouble with Congress right now, though. He after all witnessed pretty much every damn crime in Trump's Ukraine crime spree, at least the ones that happened before he was officially quit-fired from White House.

Or maybe he really really really really wants to put all this in his new book and make $ off it, which would be difficult if he had already spilled his whole guts to Congress.

What a pickle to be in, John Bolton!

Anything Else, As If We Need More?

Oh yeah and also former White House counsel Don McGahn's lawyers are in court today arguing that Congress is not his real dad therefore Congress's subpoenas are meaningless. Meanwhile Charles Kupperman, who was Bolton's deputy, and who like Bolton is repped by Charles Cooper, is in court today asking them to resolve whether he should obey a subpoena from Congress or whether he should take mean tweets from Donald Trump as God's law on earth. Stay tuned on those! It looks like Bolton may be waiting to see what the judge says to his old pal Kupperman.

Until then, let's make another joke about John Bolton giving himself mustache rides so you can imagine what kind of yoga position he'd have to be in to do that LOLOLOL gross yuck goodbye.

Anyway, Not Much Going On.

Yeah, boring day.

[Washington Post / ibid. / NPR]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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