Not Robert Kennedy Jr. Announcing He Might Run For President

For the last several years, conspiracy theorists on the Right have been predicting that John F. Kennedy, Jr. will come out of hiding, announce that he faked his death in 1999, that he was actually the mysterious "Q" of Qanon fame, and that he will be Donald Trump's vice president.

That seems less and less likely to happen with each passing day, but there is another Kennedy with his eye on the White House. One who, despite his fierce opposition to vaccines, is not a dead Kennedy. That Kennedy, of course, is Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., son of former Presidential hopeful Robert "Bobby" F. Kennedy, Sr., nephew of President John F. Kennedy, author of a book about how his one cousin didn't murder a girl he almost definitely murdered and one of America's foremost anti-vaccine wackadoos.

On Friday — which I can't not point out was the day after his father's assassin, Sirhan Sirhan, was denied paroleRFK Jr. told a crowd during a speech he was giving at St. Anselm College in New Hampshire that he was considering challenging Joe Biden in 2024.

“I’m thinking about it, and I’ve passed the biggest hurdle, which is my wife has green lighted it,” he told the crowd of anti-vaxxers, environmentalists and whoever the hell else would go to that kind of thing. This apparently included state Democratic party chairman Ray Buckley.

The speech was the usual dizzying mix of the entirely normal commentary and wacky anti-science commentary that we have come to expect from RFK Jr. He spoke about helping the poor, which is great, he spoke about lowering pharmaceutical prices, which is also great. Then, you know ... his pharmaceutical commentary took bit of a turn and he started spouting the same anti-vaccine nonsense that got him kicked off of Instagram. And also whining about getting kicked off of Instagram.

He did not, thankfully, compare anti-vaxxers to Jewish people during the Holocaust or make any other odd claims like "They're putting in 5G to harvest our data and control our behavior. Digital currency that will allow them to punish us from a distance and cut off our food supply." (And yet, people thought Dead JFK, Jr. was the one behind QAnon)

Kennedy also told the New Hampshire crowd that he personally supports them going first in the primary schedule, even though the Democratic Party voted last year to switch it to South Carolina.

“We have the president of our party, the President of the United States, who feels like he needs to move this primary to a state where he can better control the outcome. What does that say to people?” he asked, making it unfortunately clear that he would be running as a Democrat and not as a Republican.

I would hope that Robert Kennedy has done enough damage to his reputation that he would not be able to woo the "Kennedys Are Magic" crowd, but you never can tell with these things. People are weird about the Kennedys. Even people who aren't even Catholic or from New England.

Scarily enough, New Hampshire Public Radio reported that "some of Biden’s staunchest 2020 backers turned out Friday to hear Kennedy" and that "[s]everal said it was a mistake to write off Kennedy prematurely."

“He’s got the name, and that opens a lot of doors,” said Democratic state senator Lou D’Allesandro.

Yes, but he's also batshit crazy, and that should close a few of them.

I would now like to retract my previous "Please, someone, anyone else run, if only to make the debates less weird" wish that I made upon Marianne Williamson's announcement that she would be seeking the Democratic nomination as well. Because this will not, in fact, make the debates less weird, by any stretch of the imagination. I apologize and hereby promise to throw this damn monkey's paw right out the window toot suite.


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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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