The conservatives at National Review (the ones who aren't William F. Buckley) are paralyzed with giggles over Sen. John Kerry's latest (D-Mass.) bon mot. Grabbing a swiss cheese and Charolais beef burger (I'm guessing) at Honest John's (oh, God) bar, Kerry groused that the Bush administration's unfolding fuck-up in the Middle East fueled the Israel-Hezbollah crisis. "If I was president, this wouldn't have happened." Says NR's pinch-hitter John Podhoretz:

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John Kerry has said some pretty idiotic things, but claiming that a Kerry presidency would have meant there would be no hostilities between Israel and Hezbollah may be his crowning achievement.

Seriously! That's almost as stupid as using the Israel-Hezbollah conflict as a reason to vote Republican. Which no one would... oh, godammit.

Vice President Dick Cheney on Friday pointed to the fighting between

Israel and Hezbollah as fresh evidence of the ongoing battle against terrorism that underscores the need to keep President Bush's Republican allies in control of Congress.

"This conflict is a long way from over," Cheney said at a fundraising appearance for a GOP congressional candidate. "It's going to be a battle that will last for a very long time. It is absolutely essential that we stay the course."

Maybe we do need that anti-immigration third party, if only to shake things up and blame the conflict on Mexicans.

Kerry knocks Bush on handling of Mideast conflict [The Detroit News]

Kerry [National Review Online]

Cheney uses Mideast as campaign issue [Associated Press]

-- David Weigel