Donate

NRA Chief: Obama Trying To Steal Your Guns By Not Stealing Your Guns

News


Here's a novel theory from the terminally paranoid crackpot head ogre at the NRA: President Obama's refusal to steal all of their guns is really just his massive conspiracy to steal all their guns. This is how it works: Obama lulls all of the gun owners into a perilous sense of security by never proposing gun control legislation of any kind during the course of his entire term and even helpfully neglects to reinstate Bill Clinton's pansy-ass elitist assault weapons ban, and THEN -- wait for it -- while everybody is casually making small talk about that hilarious time Bob shot his neighbor for letting his dog poop on Bob's lawn, WHAM, Obama rocket launches storm trooper Ban Ki Moon and his feared army of U.N. bureaucrats straight at the guns and cold STEALS EVERY ONE OF THEM before setting fire to the Constitution to "erase the evidence." Really, that's how it happens!

Probably! We heard this ogre with the fancy name, Wayne LaPierre, complain about the U.N. (Ha ha, we like the idea of Ban Ki Moon as a storm trooper) and then got a little bored with this rambling, fearful speech given to a bunch of gun owners to warn them against voting for Obama in 2012 even though they would never ever vote for Obama and Obama has not tried to still their guns... yet. YET. YET, GUYS.

Here are a couple of the best quotes from his speech, via Crooks and Liars:

"Obama himself is no fool. So when he got elected, they concocted a scheme to stay away from the gun issue, lull gun owners to sleep and play us for fools in 2012. Well, gun owners are not fools and we are not fooled," La Pierre declared.

"Sotomayor, Kagan, Fast & Furious, the United Nations, executive orders. Those are the facts we face today... President Obama and his cohorts, yeah, they're going to deny their conspiracy to fool gun owners. Some in the liberal media, they are already probably blogging about it. But we don't care because the lying, conniving Obama crowd can kiss our Constitution!"

It is a pretty good story! That's pretty crafty of Obama... a couple of middle-aged ladies, a crappy B-movie about car racing and the UNITED NATIONS are a pretty fearsome force when you add them together. We'd be afraid. [Crooks and Liars]

$
Donate with CC

Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

Keep reading... Show less
Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
$
Donate with CC

It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc