NRA To Las Vegas Shooting Victims: SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY!
good guy with a gun
Well this is just a very nice gesture from the National Rifle Assocation (NRA), the one group in America with more blood on its hands than any other in the wake of the Las Vegas massacre:
Let's do some quick calendar math. Today, Monday, is October 2, which means October 10 is ... NEXT TUESDAY! Haw haw, Wonkette sees what Wonkette did there.
No really, this is the NRA's grand gesture. As Oliver Willis notes at Shareblue, the NRA is backing Republican Ed Gillespie in Virginia's gubernatorial race. So, in honor and reverence for the 58 (or more) lives lost after a 64-year-old domestic terrorist used a bunch of the NRA's favorite penis guns to inflict maximum carnage upon innocent people, the gun rights group will refrain from running hate ads about how Gillespie's opponent is a pussy who doesn't even recognize your God-given right to murder everyone with guns FOR A LITTLE OVER A WEEK. Then they'll rev the engines right back up, which will signal the GOP that the "too soon" phase is over, and we are now in the "let's all just move on and Make America Great Again" phase. (Yes, we will have skipped the phase where it's appropriate to talk gun control, because THERE AIN'T SO SUCH PHASE.)
While the NRA itself may be staying silent, its political pimps are out there making their noises. NRA asshole spokesperson Dana Loesch is yelling at Hillary Clinton on Twitter for DARING to suggest the NRA shares a lot of the blame, and she's also retweeting all the hateful things people are saying about her, replying "God bless" to each and every one. How gracious of her.
She also is here to instruct us in what is helpful today and what is not. Helpful? Prayers. Waiting for the facts. Tempering our desires to call the NRA a bunch of murder-enabling fucks. Not helpful? Saying ugly things to Dana Loesch and/or the NRA:
REMINDER: Dana Loesch is a verifiably bad person, especially when it comes to her NRA promotion. While we do not endorse people wishing violence upon her on Twitter, we would heartily endorse her deciding to go fuck herself right about now.
National Review editor Rich Lowry is having ANGRY STARBURSTS at Hillary Clinton, for saying the NRA's a piece of shit for pushing gun silencer legislation right now:
Meanwhile, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders shed tears at the beginning of Monday's briefing (hooray, she's human!), then proceeded to instruct America in how it's not nice to criticize the NRA right now:
Oh STFU, Huckabee spawn.
When Donald Trump carefully sounded out the thoughts 'n' prayers speech his employees wrote for him on Monday, he mentioned "scripture," but he did not mention guns and he CERTAINLY did not blaspheme the holy name of the NRA. We can't imagine why:
If you didn't know, Igor Volsky's Twitter account is a must-read on mass shooting days (we have so many of them!), as he retweets the thoughts 'n' prayers of Republican politicians and simply notes how much blood money they've taken from the NRA. Scroll down and see if you find your favorite GOP asshole!
In order to be COMPLETELY FAIR to the NRA, we feel we should check their Twitter feed just to make sure we haven't missed a very heartwarming statement from them. But as of now, this is the group's latest tweet, which is about CIVIL RIGHTS FOR FIREARMS AND THE GUN-HUMPING PUSSIES WHO LOVE THEM:
There's nothing on their website either.
We don't know how to end this creatively, since we feel like we've written this specific post at least 18 times since we started working at Wonkette, so let's just say fuck the NRA and be finished with it.
FUCK THE NRA.
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You have our permission to skip today's tithe to Wonkette and throw some money at Everytown for Gun Safety, Gabby Giffords's Americans for Responsible Solutions, Moms Demand Action, and the Brady Campaign To Prevent Gun Violence. Be safe.