GOP Knows Trick To Make Voters Happy About Giving Up Abortion Rights, It's Called Lying

Republicans have been a little weird since news came out that the Supreme Court they stole and filled with partisan lying hacks is set to deliver the services they paid for and overturn Roe v. Wade. Many of them are screaming LEAKER! and angrily explaining that the news is not the news, because the news is LEAKER!

Mitch McConnell was so mad, he just couldn't stop clenching his turtle butthole in fury as he yelled at reporters on Tuesday:

“You need, it seems to me — excuse the lecture — to concentrate on what the news is today,” McConnell scolded. “Not a leaked draft, but the fact that the draft was leaked.”

Excuse the lecture, Senator, but go eat Kentucky-fried shit in hell.

But so many Republicans just really don't want to talk about this thing they have been jonesing to do for decades, maybe because current polling says voters want to keepRoe by a two-to-one margin. GOP Senator John Barrasso says in November, voters "are going to make a decision about the impact on their own personal lives," and therefore Republicans will win. Very like a half-dead old white man, to think abortion doesn't affect his constituents' personal lives. GOP Senator Joni Ernst thinks overturning Roe will just be a "little blip" in voters' minds. “I don’t see that as being a decision point for Iowa voters,” said Breadbags Jones. “I think Republicans are going to seize the Senate.”

And so forth. You've heard a lot these past few days, we reckon, about the "dog who caught the car" and didn't know what to do with it. Indeed, what does an authoritarian fascist party do when it steals the Supreme Court and its partisan hack judges start stealing constitutional rights from people?

The National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) is sending around a memo and some talking points that essentially tell Republicans to just lie to people about abortion. You know, something new and different from what they've been doing for decades. They commissioned some polling and found that if you frame questions in the most inflammatory bullshit way possible, voters agree with Republicans more! Hooray!

Politico Playbook summarizes some of the findings with these bullet points right here:

  • “Unelected federal judges should not make laws. States should be able to establish their own laws regarding abortion, as they do on everything else.” Polling: Fifty-four percent strongly or somewhat agree, while 32% strongly or somewhat disagree.
  • “Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, we can all agree that taxpayer money should not be used to pay for abortions.” Polling: Sixty-five percent strongly or somewhat agree, including 66% of independent voters.
  • “It’s acceptable for states to limit late-term abortions if the state makes it affordable to put babies up for adoption and financially assists the birth mother.” Polling: Fifty-nine percent strongly or somewhat agreed, while 26% disagreed.
  • “If you knew the following were true, would it make you more or less likely to support current abortion laws: Current abortion policy in the United States allows for abortions to be performed for any reason, up until the very moment of birth.” Polling: Fourteen percent said “much more” or “somewhat more” likely, while 57% said “much less” or “somewhat less” likely.
  • “Thinking about the 2022 election for Congress, please tell me which of the following candidates you would be more likely to vote for. A Republican candidate who supports banning abortions after 15 weeks with exceptions for the life and physical health of the mother or severe fatal abnormality of the baby. A Democrat candidate who supports unlimited abortion up until the moment of birth.” Polling: Fifty-three percent said the GOP candidate — including 54% of Independents — while only 28% said the Democrat.

See, Republicans? If you just ask weird pointless questions about taxpayer funding, or if you spread slimy lies about "late-term abortions," you can distract voters from the fact that Samuel Alito is crawling into American women's underpants, screaming at their uteruses about HOW VERY DARE YOU reject God's holy spermings!

If you lie to voters with bullshit framing about abortions "up until the very moment of birth," some people will listen to you! A lot of otherwise pro-choice people will tell you they support abortion but not late-term abortion, because they've been brainwashed by conservative Christian liars to believe that's a thing.

Additionally, the NRSC's memo encourages Republicans to be the "compassionate consensus builders" on abortion. "While people have many different views on abortion policy, Americans are compassionate people who want to welcome every new baby into the world." Unspoken right there: even babies little girls are forced to birth because their dads raped them! Also, everybody knows "pro-life" people's concern for the unborn ends the second they are born.

The memo encourages many more lies, especially the lies about so-called "late-term abortions." It's extremely important to Republicans that people think so-called "late-term abortions" are the most common kind, because that keeps people from understanding that the most common abortions in America happen in the first trimester, and involve taking a few fucking pills. Abortions later in pregnancy happen, and they happen for a number of reasons, mostly involving either patients having trouble accessing abortion or extreme medical situations people wouldn't wish on their worst enemies.

But that's the image they need in your head, America.

Additional lies in the memo are lies about how Republicans don't want to take away contraception (they do) and lies about how Republicans don't want to throw doctors or women in jail (they do) and lies about fetuses having heartbeats at six weeks (they don't) and HILARIOUS lies about how Democrats are "science deniers on the issue of abortion."

It's real cute.

We're going to tell the truth louder. So go fuck yourselves, Republicans.

[The memo, seriously read it all]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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