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NY Post Writer Wonders Why Dumb Broads Can't Take A Compliment (Also: Nipples)

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The New York Post's Doree Lewak considers herself a funny gal, with her humor recalling a more enlightened time when "gal" was the preferred nomenclature. So we apologize in advance if Lewak's paean to wolf whistles, "Hey Ladies -- catcalls are flattering! Deal with it," in yesterday's Post was a new and highly advanced form of satire that we simply don't understand. We will allow you to judge for yourselves.


But the mystique and machismo of manly construction workers have always made my heart beat a little faster — and made my sashay a little saucier. It’s as primal as it gets, ladies! They either grunt in recognition or they go back to their coffee break. It’s not brain science — when a total stranger notices you, it’s validating.

There's a lot to unpack here beyond the "brain science" Lewak mentions. We will now mansplain it at you, with our big man-brain what science says is all smart-like.

To her credit, Lewak does recognize that, "most women with healthy self-confidence don’t court unwanted male attention. In fact, most women seem to hate it." Good for you, Doree Lewak, 10 feminism points to House Lewak! But just 150 words later, she changes tack.

Oh, don’t go rolling those sanctimonious eyes at me, young women of Vassar: I may court catcalls, but I hold my head high. Enjoying male attention doesn’t make you a traitor to your gender.

Take that, you frigid Vasserite harpies! Where's your feminism now, huh? Enjoying the male gaze -- and male catcalls -- doesn't make you a traitor to your gender. No word yet on whether endorsing and propagating negative stereotypes about Vasser does.

Lewak recognizes that "not all catcalls are created equal," that "the good ones are innocuous, not crass or obscene." How does one determine what is innocuous and what is obscene? Doree Lewak provides a helpful (?) example.

To clarify, a compliment is “You’re beautiful,” and not “I like your nipples,” a crude comment beyond the point of no return.

What about "I like your beautiful nipples?" Tough to say, better ask Construction Worker Compliment Expert Doree Lewak.

It is perfectly fine for Lewak to enjoy being catcalled -- she writes that, for her, "it’s nothing short of exhilarating, yielding an unmatched level of euphoria." Earlier in the piece, she writes, "Besides, hard hats need something to look at while they’re on their lunch break. I can be that objectified sex thing for them!" You do you, Doree, let yo' freak flag fly or whatever!

But despite her disclaimer about knowing that plenty of women don't enjoy catcalls, she manages to ask, "What’s so wrong about a 'You are sexy!' comment from any observant man?" In the process, she makes it hard to claim that she's only speaking for herself. Witness Doree Lewak wondering what's got today's broads so uptight all the time.

Walking confidently past a mass of men, making eye contact and flashing a smile shows you as you are: self-possessed and playful. The wolf whistles that follow will send your ego soaring.

Is that so, Doree Lewak! You're pretty sure of that, then? You're comfortable with your categorical phrasing here, professional writer Doree Lewak? What if those wolf whistles are offered without "making eye contact and flashing a smile?" Ha ha, silly question because that never even happens, all construction-site wolf whistles are consensual and desired, what were we thinking?

We began by noting that Doree Lewak sees herself as a funny dame. And late in the piece, she flexes her funny bone thusly.

I imagine the catcall stretches back to ancient construction times, when the Israelites were building the pyramids, with scores of single Jewish women hiking up their loincloths, hoping for a little attention.

That's probably exactly what life was like for the Israelite slaves who were forced to build the pyramids, ha ha ha! Good call, Doree Lewak, what a hilarious joke! As most scholars agree, ancient Middle Eastern cultures respected and empowered women, and slave-based economies were basically one giant, consensual fuckfest.

As with most New York Post stories, we beg you not to read the comments.

[New York Post via tip from Wonket Operative lizzietish]

Follow Dan on Twitter. That's meant to be a respectful invitation, not a heteronormative command.

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