The New York Times is in many ways your typical godless commie rag, as evidenced by its "peas in guacamole" recipes, but in all the ways that actually matter, like its political coverage, it enjoys regularly knocking Democrats like the stereotypical sitcom mother-in-law who will always find something to criticize about her son's wife.

Saturday, Utah's Mia Love officially left for that separate-but-equal black Republican rest home in the sky. This brought Democratic gains in the House to 39 seats. Also on Saturday, the Times ran the latest in its "Democrats in disarray" series that no one demanded. The Twitter headline alone is such potent stupidity you shouldn't operate heavy machinery after reading it: "After painful losses, Democrats in the South face a dilemma: Appeals to progressives cost them the rural white voters who often decide elections."

Painful losses? Really? This is like calling my failed audition for Killmonger in Black Panther a "painful loss." I got to say "Hey, Auntie" to Angela Bassett before security showed up. Overall, I consider it a win. Yes, Stacey Abrams "lost" the governor's race in Georgia, and Beto O'Rourke and Andrew Gillum failed to win in Texas and Florida, where voter suppression was not as overt and repulsive as in the peach state. (Hey, geniuses at the Times, maybe you should write about that!) But Abrams and O'Rourke also performed better than any Democrat had in decades. Hell, in Texas, Republican Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson regularly murdered her opponents for almost two decades. Democrats stopped considering these Senate races elections and treated them more like Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery." They were begging not to run: "Please don't make me! I won't break 40 percent. I have kids!"

I think it's encouraging that we didn't have statewide races in Georgia or Texas that were called as soon as the polls closed or even in the middle of day ("everyone left could vote for the other guy and it still wouldn't matter at this point -- stay home"). But the Times ain't having it. Writer Jonathan Martin points out that while Abrams, O'Rourke, and Gillum "may have electrified black and progressive white voters," it didn't mean a damn thing to the banjo-picking, cross-burning, Donald Trump-loving electorate: "[I]n rural county after rural county, this trio of next-generation Democrats performed worse than President Barack Obama did in 2012."

Wait, can the Times count? Because even if Obama did better in Trump country than "Democrats: The Next Generation," he still lost Georgia and Texas by larger margins than Abrams and O'Rourke. That's even when Sarah Palin was on the ticket. Obama did win Florida twice, but Gillum's loss there is more likely attributed to his underperforming Hillary Clinton among Hispanic voters.

More ominous for Democrats was that the deep losses this year among rural and some exurban whites were not just confined to Southern states where they nominated unabashed progressives with hopes of transforming the midterm electorate. They lost four Senate seats, as well as governor's races in states like Iowa and Ohio, with more conventional candidates whose strength in cities and upper-income suburbs was not enough to overcome their deficits in less densely populated areas.

I'm gonna have to disagree with Pvt. Hudson at the Times here. Yes, Democrats lost four Senate seats, but we also flipped two in Nevada and Arizona (you know, the state that's in Arizona). We also retired Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, which would warrant a New Orleans funeral parade all on its own. Democrat Gretchen Whitmer is the next governor of Michigan, and her running mate Garlin Gilchrist will be the state's first black lieutenant governor. Pennsylvania Governor Tom Wolf handily won re-election. Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania are all states Hillary Clinton narrowly lost in 2016 and ones that the eventual Democratic nominee Kamala Harris will need to flip back to blue in 2020. Those are good signs for removing Putin's Russian nesting doll from the White House, but the Times seems to only look at election results with its right eye open.

So, instead of discussing these major rust and sunbelt victories, the Times is ragging on Democrats for their potential loss of a sure thing in Mississippi. Yeah, you read that right. Democrat Mike Espy, who's black, forced incumbent Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith into a runoff on Tuesday, and as of this writing, his home hasn't even been firebombed. He's beating all expectations. Yet the Times opens its hit piece with an examination of Espy's "Sophie's choice" over whether to "confront" Hyde-Smith about her repulsive lynching comments or take a "milder approach to avoid alienating the conservative-leaning white voters who will most likely decide the election."

He chose the latter.

"The world knows what she said, the world knows that those comments were harmful and hurtful," Mr. Espy said afterward, sounding not entirely convinced.

Great, the Times is mind-reading now. Is the implication that Espy himself doesn't really believe the world knows lynching comments are "harmful and hurtful" or that the world is generally speaking pro-lynching, or that he himself loves a good public hanging? The Times goes out of its way to make a black candidate look weak on opposing racism. That and potato salad are two of our stronger points.

"Conservative-leaning white voters" aren't going to decide the election, either. We all know they're voting for Senator Skeletor. Doug Jones won the Senate race in Alabama because black voters came out in force for him. If the Times believes that Jones's victory was only because he's a white moderate, they should recall that the last Democrat to run for governor, Jason Carter, was not just a moderate but literally Jimmy Carter's grandson. He lost to Nathan Deal by almost eight points. Abrams's GOTV efforts arguably also helped Lucy McBath flip a seat once held by Newt Gingrich. McBath openly campaigned on gun control in a state where conventional wisdom demands candidates wave rifles around at town halls.

Democrats have repaired wounds from 2016 and are slowly but steadily improving their standing in the South. If the Times is too obsessed with the "white working class" to see this, they should get out of political writing and focus on their pea guacamole.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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