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NYPost: Confused Jewish GOP Donors Think Michele Bachmann Is A Jew

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Corrupt goon Rupert Murdoch's Florida retirement community gossip ragThe New York Post has some hottt new rumor skull-hacked from the brains of a mysterious gaggle of senile Jewish GOP donors claiming that these sorely confused purse holders are mistakenly sending fat checks to Michele Bachmann's campaign under the impression that she is "the Jewish candidate." Wait till Michele's Jesus hears about this!? We are guessing these donors spotted Michele's mangled attempt at the word "chutzpah" on the retirement home's 24-hour Fox News Channel beam, otherwise there is no possible explanation besides "this is made up." Sure, the article cites one anonymous crabby Mitt Romney fundraiser as the source of the rumor, but who can trust Mitt Romney's people? Oh, uh, apparently because this fundraiser believes the Jewish GOP dollars rightfully belong to mystery-religion Mittens.


SO SALACIOUS:

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney is facing a new challenge: He's having trouble raising money from some Jewish donors who mistakenly believe one of his opponents, Michele Bachmann, is Jewish.

Some Jewish donors are telling fund-raisers for Romney, a Mormon, that while they like him, they'd rather open their wallets for the "Jewish candidate," who they don't realize is actually a Lutheran, The Post has learned.

"It's a real problem," one Romney fund-raiser said. "We're working very hard in the Jewish community because of Obama's Israel problem. This was surprising."

The NYPost also has a service tip for Jewish GOP donors who need to get a clue by pointing out Michele Bachmann "doesn't look Jewish," or human, or lizard, or vegetable, or whatever. [NYPost]

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Donald Trump's presidency has made white nationalism fashionable again. It doesn't help matters that social networking giant Facebook has offered white nationalists a global platform for their hate. Back in May, Motherboard obtained internal documents that revealed how Facebook planned to handle white supremacist content on its site after Charlottesville. It was incredibly stupid.

See, Facebook wouldn't let you post praise of white supremacy as an ideology or identify yourself as a "proud" white supremacist. It would allow you to post praise of white nationalism as an ideology or identify yourself as a "proud" white nationalist. All those tech bros and all those hoodies in the same place and they still couldn't muster the collective brain power to understand that white supremacy and white nationalism are synonymous, by which I mean the exact same thing but with a slightly different arrangement of letters.

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Is Brett Kavanaugh's Evil Twin The Real Attempted Rapist? Maaaaaybe!

Another Pulitzer for Kathleen Parker pls!

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Over this past week, we have heard some fascinating excuses for Brett Kavanaugh having allegedly attempted to rape Dr. Christine Blasey Ford when he was in high school. Hey, he didn't rape us, said some ladies who knew him. It could have just been horseplay, said his spokesperson Carrie Severino! He wasn't even there, said Orrin Hatch! It totally doesn't matter anyway because he has done enough good in his lifetime that he should get to sexually assault like, one lady, said Dennis Prager! Maybe it was a false memory and she hallucinated the whole thing, said the Dilbert guy!

So many possible options. But something was missing. We didn't know it, but we felt it in our bones. And then, today, Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Kathleen Parker dropped it in the Washington Post. What if it wasn't Brett Kavanaugh, she tells us all, very seriously, but rather his evil twin. Or someone who just looked a whole lot like him. Perhaps even this "Bart O'Kavanaugh" we have been hearing so much about.

Let's hear her out!

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