OAN Host Very Mad About AOC's Melanin-Deprived Boyfriend
via AOC's Facebook

AOC with a white boy? The very nerve, cry the wingers. Girl, control your vagina!

Oh, we wish we were kidding. But nope!

Desperate to wring one more outrage cycle over Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez eating lunch, the good folks at One America (News?) Network have worked themselves into a hot, wet lather over her boyfriend's low melanin count.

"Wait, you have a white boyfriend? I thought white people were racist!" shouted OAN host Dan Ball. "What are you doin' with white folk, AOC? Oh, my God."

See, it's funny because ... okay, you got us. Why does this low-rent Sean Hannity think he's making a big ol' thigh slapper here?

"Responding to critics who are slamming her for her hypocrisy — which we SHOULD, not only for the COVID cases rising you're trying to freak us out about in New York — you jump ship and go to a state that's free and party," Ball howled, working himself up in a fit of performative outrage. "You don't wear your damn mask, and, oh yeah, by the way, you're with a white boy."

Well, it's a lot to unpack. Apparently, Ocasio-Cortez, a US Representative, is supposed to be back in New York curing COVID. Which is simultaneously running rampant and also ughhh, no big deal, why are you libs always trying to freak everyone about it. Anyway, her work is closed, even if New York restaurants aren't. So she spent a holiday weekend in Real America "partying" with a whole crowd of ... her domestic partner. And they didn't even wear their "damn masks" outside to stop the spread of COVID, which is rising, but also don't get your panties in a bunch, snowflake.

And on top of all that, her boyfriend is WHITE. Like ginger beard, Caspar the Friendly Ghost, Mitt Romney in a snow storm white. What kind of woke, identity politics-worshipping, CRT throat-cramming, police defunding, coastal elitist has a white boyfriend?

Exactly who does Ball think about when he thinks about AOC with other men? Because clearly he thinks about that A LOT.

"I thought white straight boys were racist," Ball snorted, exhaling derisively.

Well, he would know, right?

Open thread!

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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