Oath Keeper Stewart Rhodes Standing By To Defend Donald Trump From Democracy

Right Wing Extremism
Oath Keeper Stewart Rhodes Standing By To Defend Donald Trump From Democracy

Both SER and Dok accidentally wrote about this last night, so we smashed both posts together and think it still makes sense.

Donald Trump has desperately tried to sow distrust in the results of his scheduled ass-whooping next Tuesday. Like the emotionally damaged spoiled child he is, Trump contends that the only “fair" election is one he wins, and he's convinced that any election he loses is “rigged" against him.

During the first presidential debate, when he advised white supremacists to “stand back and stand by," President Klan Robe also “urged" his droogs to "go into the polls and watch very carefully" for any suspicious activity, presumably (Black) people voting against him. This is the exact sort of voter intimidation that served as the “happy ending" of Birth of a Nation, which plays endlessly in the abandoned movie theater inside Trump's head.

Stewart Rhodes is one of far too many loons out there who are “standing by" on Election Day. Rhodes is a member of the Oath Keepers, one of those violent rightwing groups that Trump knows nothing about despite technically being president. The Oath Keepers are cops — both former and present — and military veterans who snapped after Barack Obama was elected. (They also wanted to hang John McCain for treason, so neither 2008 presidential candidate would've pleased them.)

The Oath Keepers, like most unstable psychopaths, are big Trump fans. Rhodes appeared on "The Alex Jones Show" Tuesday and explained how his fellow thugs would protect the nation from a Joe Biden victory next week, which can only happen if the election's stolen from Trump. Wonder who put that idea in his head?

Jones himself argued that Democratic leaders plan to “punish" conservatives and make mass arrests of Republican leadership.

JONES: They're planning an authoritarian takeover if Biden's able to get in or they're able to assassinate President Trump.

According to our research, Jones is always this unhinged. He asked Rhodes what would happen if — God forbid — Biden won.

RHODES: A good third of this country will not recognize [Biden] as being legitimate, and I'm one of them.

It's 1860 all over again! When Abraham Lincoln won a free and fair election, South Carolina declared this "a hostile act." It turns out people evil enough to own other people aren't big on democracy.

Jones insisted that China, Hollywood, and Big Tech are all plotting together in a "globalist Chi-Com" plan to destroy America, which prompted Rhodes to call on Trump to "declassify all the secrets" prior to the election, to expose everything that China has on its American dupes, who apparently include all the Democrats, and every member of the Deep State. Then the Oath Keepers would know who to "go and put it to them, and take them into custody and do what we have to do."

Haha, remember when the Oath Keepers used to worry Barack Obama would declare martial law and put "patriots" in concentration camps? Not to worry: That would all be perfectly fine if Trump did it, because he's the good guy who loves America, the Constitution, and the rule of law, which is whatever Donald Trump — or Rhodes and his vigilantes — say it is. (Rhodes didn't say this, but we're sure he'd agree that it would be much more efficient to get rid of "due process," which just protects people who need to be strung up for their crimes against the US Constitution.)

Rhodes went on to praise Project Veritas for the “awesome work" it does exposing “all the fraud" Democrats commit. Project Veritas is itself a fraud.

RHODES: When you're trying to attack a country and destroy it from within, you make sure everyone questions the legitimacy of their government. In a way they win when it's us not trusting the results. Either way, you wind up with a destabilized country.

This all seems like what Trump has done for four years, but Rhodes argued that we're the ones gaslighting Trump supporters whenever we recall true events. He claimed for instance that Trump supporters are being intimidated and harassed for wearing Trump T-shirts (made in China) and that his goons have no choice but to “defend their rights."

RHODES: They're gonna be stealing the election while accusing Trump and his followers of stealing it. They'll be out there coercing and threatening people while accusing us of doing it.

Rhodes told the Los Angeles Times that his goons will patrol voting sites “undercover" and are prepared to draw arms if necessary to “protect people who are voting." This seems the opposite of legit.

Jones insists that Trump is going to win, polls be damned, but we'll just claim he “lost" because of “all of the fraud" or, you know, Biden winning more votes — and not just nationwide, like those suckers Al Gore and Hillary Clinton. We were worried that a narrow Biden victory would prove contentious, but it looks like the tinfoil hat set will also point to an overwhelming Biden rout as proof of a Deep State coup. There's no other way to explain Trump losing once-reliably red states such as Arizona, Georgia, or even Texas — aside from more people voting for Biden, which is what the Deep State wants you to believe.

JONES: [Trump's] gonna be driven from power by these armies of meth heads they've already got cranked up and ready to go in DC.

Yeah, there's no way the United States military could possibly protect the president from this highly trained team of homeless junkies.

RHODES: We're concerned about a Benghazi-style attack. That's why Oath Keepers will be posted outside of DC. We have some of our best men working on the plan right now. We'll make sure we're in range because I don't trust the Pentagon. I don't trust the brass. I don't trust even the secretary of Defense to stand behind the president. And don't be surprised if you get the same kind of “stand down" order like you saw in Benghazi.

Rhodes couldn't say where or how many imaginary militia guys would protect Donald Trump, because operational security, but he's determined that we'll never see "the antifa flag or communist flag flying over the White House."

Well finally, a prediction we think is accurate.

Jones, perhaps worried that none of this sounded implausible enough, then explained that the violent leftists everywhere are just "decoys" for the real enemies, the "international multinational mercenary groups that literally could drive in armored dump trucks with explosives and roll one in there and blow up the White House. I mean, that, that — this is real."

Rhodes agreed that "a lot of jihadists who are well-trained and experienced in warfare" and "PLA advisors" would surely be part of any such attack, because isn't radical Islam allied with the Chinese People's Liberation Army to bring about anarchy?

The Gathering of the Fifteen Brain Cells agreed all of this is very worrisome, and that what's more we need to round up all the leftists on the West Coast who are conspiring with China, because isn't that what the Founders did, round up and exterminate the enemy within?

You got to defeat them in warfare, and then you got to figure out, it's kind of like with the Founding Fathers dealing with the loyalists, what do you do with these people?

Oh hooray! Those of us who survive the lynchings will be deported to Canada, I guess, where we can watch the Republic of Gilead be born from a safe distance.

Jones and Rhodes, of course, are both master grifters, making money off gullible idiots who buy Jones's trucker speed or send Rhodes money to make sure he can keep America safe. But they're far from harmless; while they keep the money rolling in, plenty of deranged idiots with guns believe them, and a few start deciding it's time to take the fight to whichever liberal enemy they think needs to be put down.

In a functioning society, men this paranoid and disconnected from reality would not be permitted to own firearms. Rhodes and the Oath Keepers are a ticking time bomb, and we can't trust that a defeated Donald Trump won't set it off.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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