But now you insist on a full-body scan, a fairly accurate representation of my naked image to be viewed by a total stranger?

But how exactly would they get him... Oh, never mind.

Don't touch my junk is the anthem of the modern man, the Tea Party patriot, the late-life libertarian, the midterm election voter. Don't touch my junk, Obamacare - get out of my doctor's examining room, I'm wearing a paper-thin gown slit down the back. Don't touch my junk, Google - Street View is cool, but get off my street. Don't touch my junk, you airport security goon - my package belongs to no one but me, and do you really think I'm a Nigerian nut job preparing for my 72-virgin orgy by blowing my johnson to kingdom come?

Why exactly did Krauthammer need to tell us he's "wearing a paper-thin gown slit down the back"? Did he really write "my package belongs to no one but me"? Oh, never mind. [WP]