SO HAPPY TOGETHER


Did you hear the big news, that Hillary Clinton and President Barry Bamzalicious Supa Dupa Fly campaigned together in North Carolina today? They had so much fun talking about #things and also #stuff, and specifically about how boys named Barack and girls named Hillary rule, whereas #TrumpDrools.

They went to North Carolina on an airplane called Air Force One, AKA the Obamaplane. Donald Trump was like "I am a very stupid orange person and I want to know who pays for Lying Crooked Hillary to go on trips to North Carolina on the yooge president plane," and everybody was like PFFFFFT, Obama can take anybody on airplane rides he wants. CNN also splainered that, when an incumbent preznit takes the nominee of his own party on campaign rides, that lady's campaign actually has to pay for part of it if Air Force One gets a flat tire in the sky.

Anyway, the point of this post is that ooh girl you can just TELL how excited Hillz and Bamz are to finally be able to campaign together. Obama explained that it doesn't matter if you are white or black, Hispanic or lesbian, or even if you are covered in polka dots (HE SAID THAT), Hillary is the best choice for you, whether you are worried about the economy or the ISIS or the guns or the gay stuff. He is the president of you, and he is an #ImWithHer, so you should be too!

Let's look at some pictures of Obama and Hillary being all smiles and glitter farts on stage with each other. He is making her laugh so many times!

Here's the president singing a song about how Republicans and their dumbfuck Hillary investigations are fucking dumb. (Just kidding, he wasn't singing things!)

And here is Hillary being serious for a minute, because Obama is saying the very nicest things about her, like how she is running for president for the same reason he did. (Who knew Obama ran for president so he could do Benghazi a million times with his emails?)

HMMMM WHAT ELSE? Did Hillary even speak at her own rally? She did!

Here is the part where Hillz said a nice thing about how Obama has never forgotten where he came from, and said to Donald Trump, "If you're out there tweeting, it's HAWAII." Get it? Because Donald Trump was a leader of the dead-ender birther movement, which consisted solely of very stupid racists. O is looking at the crowd like "Oh look who has #jokes now. It is Hillary!"

Here are a couple of pics where Hillz is telling war stories about all the silly pranks she and Bamz used to play when she was secretary of state, like the one time they crashed a bunch of global leaders having a climate change meeting and the president just slammed his way through because he was GRRRBAMA:

More laughing, because why not:

At the end of the speech, Obama and Hillary agreed that they had rallied very good, so they waved at the crowd and Obama showed everybody how cute his butt is:

And then they kissed, because they are gay on each other:

And then they went back to the special airplane Donald Trump will never get to ride on, because he is a loser who sucks ferret dick, which is weird because how can Trump get that ferret on the top of his head to bend its dick all the way down to his thin-lipped mouth? #AnimalPlanetQuestions

Trump 'Smiling'

Do you want to watch the video to actually see what they said? Fine, be "smart" and "well informed" or whatever, we don't care.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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