Barack Obama interrupted whatever Americans werewatching on their teevees tonight to give an important update regarding the impending bankruptcy of the United States and the decades-long, bloody chaos and societal decay that will follow. Why is he such a Glum Gladys? Because despite agreeing to almost everything the extremist corporate right wing has demanded, there are still a few "entitlements" that jaundiced alcoholic errand boy John Boehner needs to also eliminate so that his overlords don't get angry and maybe cut off his boozebag. For example, there are still some limited "Social Security" and "Medicare" programs remaining in effect, under Ronald Reagan Junior's Barack Obama's capitulation plan. So, the United States government will probably default on its gazillions of national debt, and all the sick people and old people who aren't part of the lucky-ducky 1/3 of Americans completely covered by private health insurance will be crowded into self storage facility parking lots, to die. And schools will all close, and interest rates will shoot up to 27% for mortgages and 49% for credit cards, and Harry Potter will be killed by Voldemort, who will also strangle the ghost of Jesus with a bloodied American flag and then tenderly fellate the Koch Brothers, internally, with His quadruple rows of poison fish teeth. Welcome to the Era of Long Pain.


Let's see, is there a video of this? Ah, sure, here. Notice how Boehner transparently reads some talking points he was given long before Obama's slightly more convincing performance. Also notice how almost everyone in this country has stopped caring completely, because with something like half the nation either unemployed or underemployed or "enjoying early retirement at 51" and all but the very richest saddled with awful debt for basic human needs like housing and school and medical care, and 45 million people (half of them children) evading hunger only by using federal government food stamps, and the world melting and nothing but misery and horror in the future for nearly everyone for simply doing what they were told these past couple of bogus decades, it does seem ridiculous to care too much about how these multi-millionaires and billionaires are going to carve up the carcass of the United States. The devil take 'em all, right? Because we're already ruined right now, forever.

Roll the tape, Internet:

It is time to wash our hands of the whole thing, just like Pontius Pilate said: "Lava su manos." Take what you need from those who have way too much. Share what you've got with those who aren't strong enough to take what they need. Kill your teevee (with your iPhone). If there's a nice empty house on your block with a piece of paper in the window saying nobody can live there, make sure some nice people move in. Give a hoot.

(And if you're in California, there are seventy state parks about to close because California won't collect taxes from the biggest, richest companies in the world, either. Go "volunteer" at a state park, keep the Mexican drug gangs from turning all of that public land into pesticide-poisoned pot farms, too. Did you know basically all the national forests in Northern California are already used for these purposes? And while pot growing in the forest may sound like a pleasant thing, you will be shot dead for "trespassing" on these heavily armed farms. This country has totally defaulted, already.)

Here is some other video from Ronald Reagan's disastrous presidency and the long recession of the 1980s:


MISOGYNIST CREEP PLAYOFFS! by everythingisterrible

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