Obama In Prague: A Pointlessly Detailed Account
Barack Obama went to this little country, the Czech Republic! Wonkette's correspondent Rob McLean is there, and spent many hours in an actual castle in Prague, where the Wizard lives, waiting for the famous guest from the United States to appear. "Some very disrespectful Czech girls behind me are complaining about the American flag wavers in front," he writes, from his bizarre Slavic communications device, the "i-fone."
Here, this is what happened:
I saw Bush Sr. in Prague in 1991 or '90, before the Iraq war. Some Americans were holding up no blood for oil banners. A CNN cameraman looking at them called them communists. [Ha I knew that guy, the Texan?--Ed.] No banners for this one are allowed. They told everyone to turn off their phones, which everyone laughed at. They're all taking pix with their phones anyway.
We've been waiting since 6:30 AM. Tons of Czechs about, of course, but I ended up behind a group of New Jersey girls, complaining about their nails. I thought I'd vomit.
It's packed inside the castle. The crowd just got excited because Obama was shown on the one jumbotron. I say jumbo but it´s only about five times bigger than my flatscreen. Czechs can't organize their way out of a paper bag. All the bigshot press had to squeeze through us after 6:30. We watched Vaclav Klaus and his wife, who calls him "Klaus" when she talks about him.
The cute Czech soldiers in their silly blue uniforms are marching to the beer-hall oompah oompah beat. Michelle and Barack are inside now, where Klaus will complain about environmentalists and leftists. They are due out in 45 minutes. Beautiful day, the smog thick enough so you cant even see the giant TV
tower in Zizkov.
UPDATE:Even if you're not a raving American patriot, it's still not fun to watch your visiting head of state get booed. So hooray, there was none of that -- the only boos were for some Czech politicians when they came out a few minutes before the main act.
It was hard to tell if the boos were for the Czech premier who'd lost his vote of confidence a couple weeks ago, about the same day he said the US stimulus package was the "road to hell," or if it was for the Czech global warming revisionist Vaclav Klaus.
Both Klaus and Topolanek were saving and smiling and signing autographs, as if a speech of theirs would have drawn a crowd a tenth the size of this one.
The Czech girls in back of me never stopped jabbering about the Americans in the crowd, especially when they started waving the little flags that got handed out. "The American mentality is totally deranged" was among the more polite things these foul mouthed, provincial girls managed to say. When Michelle finally came in view, though, they were swayed.
"You've got to hand it to her, she's got style."
"She's the only reason I came," said the other. It was touching, especially considering it's still politically correct for Czechs to make terrible racist Gypsy jokes in polite company.