Obama Is Just As Bored With All This Policy-y Health Care Whatever As Everyone Else


The health care debate's fifteen minutes are finally, finally up. Ugh, do you even remember all that? Anyway, Obama will now solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, America's original synonym for "unable to be fixed with one swift gesture." Obama's (alleged!) new peace plan includes TEN swift gestures, which he will (allegedly!) present at a peace conference in Egypt at the end of the month. This does not leave much time for every person on Earth to begin absolutely despising each clause of the hated plan for quasi-personal reasons of varying legitimacy! Let's begin immediately.

Laura Rozen, POLITICO's new first-round draft pick from Foreign Policy, outlines the peace plan as such on her new POLITICO blog, "Laura Rozen":

  1. Deploying international forces in the Jordan Valley and some areas of the West Bank.
  2. Placing some areas in east Jerusalem under the authority of Israel and keeping the Islamic sites in Jerusalem under Arab control.
  3. Disbanding all Palestinian factions and transforming them into political movements.
  4. Keeping the large settlements that are built in the West Bank under the authority of Israel, while negotiations, which will last three months, will begin after agreeing on this plan to discuss the status of the small settlements.
  5. Disarming several areas in the West Bank, while Israel will retain air control.
  6. Enhancing security coordination and cooperation between the Israelis and Palestinians.
  7. The PNA will not be allowed to forge any military alliances with any countries in the region.
  8. The United States commits to the establishment of a Palestinian state in the summer of 2011.
  9. Allowing a number of refugees to return to several areas in the West Bank, specifically in the cities of Ramallah and Nablus, along with ensuring the provision of the necessary financial support for the return of those refugees.
  10. Israel will start releasing the Palestinian prisoners immediately upon signing the plan, provided it releases all prisoners within three

Why does Obama keep trying to take medicine away from our seniors?

[Laura Rozen]


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