Barack Obama Loses Race For Anthony Weiner's Congressional Seat
Hey, did everyone know that Barack Obamawas un-elected last night? Yeah, a weird thing happened. Instead of just voting for a new representative to replace Anthony "dick pix" Weiner, his entire old NY-9 congressional district got together to just cast their 2012 votes ahead of time, because seriously, who likes these eternal election cycles anymore. And the results are in: New York is finally tired of being godless, gay, socialist, and also not Jewish enough! They've chosen maniacal cackling Republican Bob Turner to be the new President of New York of America. The technical details still require us to point out this was nominally a House race between Bob Turner and Democrat David "tiny dancer" Weprin, but that is a terrible and boring headline with no stakes to it. Why is Barack Obama such a horrible failure that he lost the 2012 election a full year ahead of time? HINT: because of everything Republican pundits hate about him!
- Erick Erickson from RedState: "Obama lost New York Jewish voters...he lost them because for three years the Democrats have said Jewish voters love Obama and they really don't." They really don't! That is why they chose Turner, a Catholic, over Obama, a Jew-hater.
- Manhattan's top unmarried weepy cat lady K-Lo says that Obama lost because of, who else, the gay marrieds: "If you thought the marriage issue was over, this morning ought to give you pause."
- Islamophobia princess Pamela Gellar consulted her inner demons just not to be left out, and this is all about Obama's love for Muslims: "Bob Turner, who ran as the anti-Ground Zero mosque candidate, triumphed."
The AP, meanwhile, has the actual numbers to help explain why Obama lost this election:
Voter frustration with Obama put Weprin in the unlikely spot of playing defense. A Siena Poll released Friday found just 43 percent of likely voters approved of the president's job performance, while 54 percent said they disapproved. Among independents, just 29 percent said they approved of Obama's job performance.
And that is that! Congratulations to Bob Turner, the new president of 2011. [AP]