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Obama Press Corps Hilariously Fooled During Secret Meeting

How did Hillary Clinton, who's been locked in her Washington home on a barbiturate bender for the last 48 hours with the press clamoring at the gates, and Barack Obama, who commands an even larger, consolidated national press corps now, manage tomeet privately (for hot bottled water) at that senator gal's house last night? Easy! An unmarked van sneaked into Hillary's side entrance (natch) and kidnapped her, while Obama took his reporters to the airport, locked them on a plane, and drove hastily to the meeting, where he violently ripped the duct tape from Hillary's mouth and put her through bamboo-under-the-fingernails torture. And the press missed it!


Here's how Obama's Muslim terrorists kidnapped Our Hillary from her spider hole, and how Obama lied to the press corps. Lied!

Shortly after 10 p.m., a van sped quickly into the side gate of Clinton's home, Whitehaven. It was unclear who was inside. Sen. Clinton has been invisible to the press corps gathered outside her home all day. To attend the meeting at Feinstein's home, she would have had to slip unnoticed past a half-dozen cameras.

In an unexpected and unprecedented move for the candidate, Obama, D-Ill., shed his traveling press corps as they got on the plane with the understanding that Sen. Obama would join after his local interviews.

Right before take off, the press corps was informed Obama would not be flying to Chicago. Instead, he would be spending the evening in Washington.

Robert Gibbs, Obama campaign communications director, originally told the press corps, "He is not going to be in D.C. tonight for awhile so he wanted to schedule meetings."

Gibbs later confirmed the meeting took place between Clinton and Obama.

Ouch, they got punk'd, or something! Here's a pretty fantastic video of the reporters whining, too, about how Obama doesn't ever deserve privacy again:

Clinton Sneaks Out to Meet Obama in Washington [ABC News]

Press angry over secret meeting between Obama and Clinton [YouTube]

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While the year 2018 will be remembered for a lot of (mostly terrible) things, it should also go down in history as the year two entirely different women got married to ghosts. Most recently, a lady named Amethyst Realm (of course) made headlines by claiming that after having had sex with at least 20 different ghosts, she had finally settled down with one she met on a flight to Australia. As one does.

But before Amethyst Realm, there was Amanda Teague, a former Jack Sparrow impersonator who was very obsessed with Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean, and who in January announced that she had married the ghost of a 300 year-old pirate named Jack Teague. Teague claimed that Jack Teague had been a black Haitian pirate who at one point had been left at the altar, and had been executed for high treason. She also claimed that they had sex -- including a little pregnancy scare -- and that he once bought her a coffee maker.

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Time for another episode of Poppy's Bad Tweets, wherein we answer the eternal question, DOES COMMANDER TWITTER THUMBS HAVE A POINT, OR IS HE JUST SMOCKING CRACK?

(Spoiler alert ....)

Yeah, About That NO COLLUSION...

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