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She is making an Illuminati signal to her BFF the devil.


UH OH LOOK OUT "PRESIDENT" TRUMP! Turns out that the worst prophecies of noted journalist Alex Jones are coming true and Barack Obama, now that he is not president anymore, is yes indeedy creating an army of Illuminati Beyoncés to take over America and then the world! And he is doing this by getting Jay-Z to make his wife Beyoncé pragnet WITH TWINS!

WHAT? Do we even know they are HER TWIN BABIES? They might be Obama's babies, or Satan's babies!

Just kidding. We are very happy for Bey and Jay. This just proves you can have it all, ladies! You can have all kinds of babies; be an operator who brings home the paper; get all up in Mike Huckabee's grill just by existing; murder all cops by singing and dancing at the Super Bowl; take your man's ass to Red Lobster after he fuck you good; scare the bejesus out of some wussy Tennessee sheriff, again just by existing; murder all the rest of white America, because the CIA told you to; eat all the children's brains, but not your own children's brains, because they are part of the Army Of Beyoncés and are therefore exempt from getting their brains eated; and also be the sole reason the new "president" of the United States is such a perverted trash monster, because your nakey performance outfits are TOO NAUGHTY.

Anyway, here is a suggestion for who could be the babies' godmother, or at least their "Auntie Hillary":

Hooray for our new overlords in the Beyoncé Illuminati cult!

You may now use this as your open thread.

[Bey on Instagram]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Look, it is your afternoon Nice Times at the Supreme Court! It is also your WUT and HUH Times, with Justices Thomas, Sotomayor, Kagan and Gorsuch joining in an opinion by RBG tossing a challenge to Virginia's new, fair districts. Go know!

After the 2010 Census, Republicans in the Virginia House of Delegates did what they do best -- they stole more elections, redrawing the electoral map to ensure themselves a supermajority for all eternity. Why let the voters choose their representatives when the representatives can pick their own voters as the founders intended, right? Voters in 12 of the affected districts sued the Virginia State Board of Elections in 2014 to invalidate the districts as illegal racial gerrymanders, and the House of Delegates intervened in Bethune-Hill v. Va. State Bd. of Elections to support the Board and defend its own power.

After extensive litigation including a trip up to the Supreme Court in 2017, the District Court in the Eastern District of Virginia tossed 11 of the districts as illegal racial gerrymanders and ordered the maps redrawn in 2018. At which point, the Commonwealth of Virginia noped out and quit defending the old, craptastic districts, which should have been the end of it.

BUT NO. The Virginia House of Delegates, which is still held by the GOP despite their party netting nine percent fewer votes than Democrats in the 2017 election, vowed to fight on.

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