Obama Smears Rutherford B. Hayes, America's Greatest President


Why does President Obama hate President Rutherford B. Hayes so, so much? Our Kenyan Overlord slammed the beloved Ohio beardocrat today for supposedly dismissing the hot new invention of his time, the telephone. That idiot hated the telephone like the dickens, Obama said, maybe. But what if Obama is wrong? What if Rutherford B. Hayes loved telephones? What if this blows your mind?

Here's what Obama had to say about this dead old Luddite fail whale, via Politico:

"One of my predecessors, President Rutherford B. Hayes, reportedly said about the telephone: 'It’s a great invention but who would ever want to use one?'" Obama said. "That's why he's not on Mt. Rushmore."

"He's looking backwards, he's not looking forward. He's explaining why we can't do something instead of why we can do something," Obama said. "The point is there will always be cynics and naysayers."

This prompted the New York's cynical New York publication to call the Rutherford B. Hayes Presidential Center and ask if Obama's story is bullshit. It is Bullshit, they said:

Wait, so Hayes didn't even say the quote that Obama is mocking him for? "No, no," Card confirmed.

She then read aloud a newspaper article from June 29, 1877, which describes Hayes's delight upon first experiencing the magic of the telephone. The Providence Journal story reported that as Hayes listened on the phone, "a gradually increasing smile wreathe[d] his lips and wonder shone in his eyes more and more.” Hayes took the phone from his ear, "looked at it a moment in surprise and remarked, 'That is wonderful.'"

Is there any possible reason for keeping Rutherford B. Hayes off of Mount Rushmore now? Name one. You can't do it. Name one.You'vegotnothing.

[Politico, NYMag]


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