Obama To Celebrate 9/11 At America’s Lamest Ground Zero

 
 Whew, it looks like Obama won't have to stay home and watch Loose Change on YouTube this year on 9/11. After hearing Obama had nowhere to go to spend this most sacred of holidays, the nice generals invited him to their little gathering at the Pentagon. Fortunately, he lives just a 10-minute drive away, so he won't have to stay overnight or make awkward small talk after the party's over.

Everyone agrees that the Pentagon is the worst place to celebrate 9/11. That's because much of the damage done there was repaired less than a year after the attack -- a direct insult to modern America's "can't-do" spirit. The proper response to a terrorist attack is to leave, for most of the following decade, a festering hole in the city fabric where people can come and get pissed off and scream about bullshit. There's no place for "moving on" in America's death-grievance cult.

Anyway, Obama had a low-key 9/11 at the Pentagon last year too, so it's becoming a bit of a tradition. Michelle will be off in Pennsylvania doing "first lady stuff" (make-outs) with Laura Bush, and Joe Biden will be in Lower Manhattan getting into drunken brawls with angry teabaggers. The President, meanwhile, will just smile awkwardly for some photo ops, grab a bite at the Ground Zero Cafe, say a few Muslim prayers, and then head home. [ NBC ]